Big Ups and Fuck Yous - October 2016

Colours killed and their corpses dressed in black.

September 2016 MiloBUAFY RatoNovember 2016

§ October 31, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the Explain XKCD Wiki, for showing me that Git is in fact tosh and isn't because I'm dumb like the wiki says (fuck you, hatty). Despite my previous objections, oh, around July where I parodied the tagline of XKCD and called it a sell-out, I still like XKCD. Sorry, I mistyped that - I liked XKCD. I liked it when it was an experimental comic that actually lived up to its promises of "romance, sarcasm, math, and language", nowadays being "science, science, science, pandering to nerds". Without getting exhaustive, as ain't nobody got time for that (and I'm the one bitching about pandering), if you look at the comics from before 2013, you find a lot more depth of character in the webcomic, with less of a reliance on creating comics that could be easily shared on Reddit or what have you, in favour of creating those with more absurdity that didn't rely on an appreciation of the natural sciences - and whatever appreciation required could be gleaned from the context of the comic, which was still often thought-provoking in its own right. The original art style of stick figures, charmed by its imperfections, now seem lazy after over a decade of standardised artwork, never willing to push the boundaries of its art style, unlike. This is a topic for a different review (protip: if you run out of article ideas, go into the BUAFYS and search for "review"), though the long and short of it that XKCD felt more natural in its early days, now feeling like they're created to be shared like dancing bears, not to be appreciated. The XKCD Wiki documents these comics in a neatly categorised way - and if you can get past their explanations beating the joke worse than OJ Simpson and his wife (topical reference), it'll help you find the good work that made the comic so popular in the first place.

RATTLING Spook you to Facebook for banning the profile of Koko the Clown (archive), which is such a hostile act towards the Clown race, that anybody who is not willing to start a riot is being complicit in the systemic oppression of this noble people. But beyond Facebook's racism, there is another problem, which is the amount of control that Facebook has in destroying people's live. You always hear the old men bitching about the lack of communication we have nowadays - I've often bitched about it myself, if only because talking to somebody is one of the most precious things you can do for a person - but given that use of Facebook is linked to depression (archive) because it causes you to develop unrealistic expectations of how other people are enjoying their lives, while causing you to constantly compare your real-life experiences to those constantly-pruned and self-censored feeds, perhaps the blokes has a point in that avoiding Facebook lets you appreciate the "reality" of reality, in all its imperfections. No matter how optimistic we are about the future, the simple fact of the world is that it is imperfect, and trying to fight against a fact that has been true for millenia, even with all the world's ability to communicate and bring ideas to life, is a folly. Well, consider now that, not only do you feel like shit for using Facebook, but Facebook has the ability to arbitrarily shut down your profile at any given point in time, and then cause you to be shit out of luck for both your business and personal life. The latest shutdown of Koko's Facebook page demonstrates this simple face - and is another reason why Facebook should not be trusted to do anything sensible.

§ October 30, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to Seth Godin's little book, "Stop Stealing Dreams" (archive), for being one of the sharpest criticisms of the public school system I've ever seen. What Seth has done is make a book that gets more relevant the more detached from school you are - the more you realise that, for twelve years of your life, you were essentially in what is either a daycare or a prison depending on your experiences, institutionalising our children to be as standard as possible in a world which absolutely, above all else, does not reward the standard way of living. I was fortunate enough to grow up in a decent high school, where they granted us enough autonomy to do whatever we liked so long as we passed our courses, and as a result of which created a student body with a wide and deep array of interests that they happen to be very good at. Naturally, this includes me, and though I definitely skipped a few days to pursue my actual interests (reading, writing, so on), I can't say much worse than half of it being a waste of time, and the other half an okay experience. For most of you who are still in high school or recently graduated (as most of my audience is young, and the audience that most needs my wisdom as a result), this book will be more relevant to you than any other, it being a completely free, short, and exciting read that has earned the distinction of being a book that I can be arsed to read more than once. I cannot say more about how much it changed my perspective on my life, and to exaggerate this point wouldn't do much for my praise, but I will say that Seth is one of the authors who has influenced me most of all, and it takes a special type of man to do that. Basically, you're fucking stupid if you don't read his work. I can't say much more than that.

RATTLING Spook you to Furaffinity, which is a perfectly functional and completely intuitive website that does not feature anything out of the ordinary prattle prattle lies, for featuring the worst of the worst of the culture - along with Inkbunny (haven for nude furry children), DeviantArt (the garbage pile of the Internet), and /r/yiff (predictable). The boorus are exempt from these criticisms, because while their interfaces aren't completely up to par, they have extensive options for finding and filtering content, meaning that it's your fault alone for exposing yourself to gential_multilation wound_penetration infanticide rape. On blatant display on Furaffinity is such gems as "diaper use humiliation regression accidents", "blaziken hermaphrodite noncon cock vore", and "m/m watersports scat petplay" - and though I would not mind this content if it was shelved away under it's own category (as i know little about fetishes and can't judge them due to my ignorance), given that it's in full view for everybody to see so long as you selected the "show me the tiddies" option under your account, I will say there's a limit to what should be under that option, as there is a difference between boring porn and extreme fetish porn. It's fair to say I've seen some shit against my will - and given that these simply-drawn pictures provide a serious abstraction from reality, I can imagine the difficulty in being somebody whose entire job is to deal with disgusting content (border patrol, doctors, EMTs, and so on), when I can barely stomach the fictional depictions of such. The theme of today's post is furries - a fandom that gets better with age.

§ October 29, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the /r/im14andthisisdeep subreddit, and I swear I'm not wasting time on Reddit (on me mum's life no less!), but I did waste a lot of time on it when I was younger, so consider this me cleaning out the closet. The things cleaned out? Skeletons. While I ragged on earlier subreddits for being bullying because of the lack of humanity involved, this subreddit is different because it isn't about attacking the person, but for attacking the content, which is some of the most poorly-presented, overbearing, or otherwise batshit-insane content you'd find on your (or some other dummy) drunk aunt's Facebook feed, inbetween her posting about getting bitten by a tractor and breaking into Starbucks. It's interesting to see all the ideas of the world, the ideas of those people who believe that they are smart without earning the right to be called smart, which illustrates the disconnect that some people have with the way they present themselves, and the way the rest of the world sees them, and it's a big ego check to see somebody like me - wanting to inspire people to be smart - trying not to fall under that banner of "so deep, man". The problem with the subreddit is that it presents the content without any comment, instead providing some snarky title, as if we're supposed to "get it" - the same as we're supposed to "get" the content they criticise. A lot of the posts are true, you see, despite some of them having truly awful, Facebook-style presentation (interesting to see Facebook being synonymous with the lesser), which illustrates the painful lesson that you can be right, dead right even, and still have nobody listen to you because of who you are, and how you present yourself. But then again, a lot of the posts are also dead wrong, so consider the subreddit an exercise in critical thinking. Which of these images do I agree with? Which ones are bullshit? Let's find out, in this new series by Froge, where we look at random pictures online and make fun of them! Or we could move on with our lives. Eh? EH?

RATTLING Spook you to the Microsoft OEM Installation Disk, which I dragged (drug?) out of the depths of Heck, which is actually my closet. Here's a list of things that were in my closet: One, skeletons. Two, the Microsoft OEM Installation Disk. That was all. The Microsoft OEM Installation Disk features a small, non-exhaustive list of licensing terms that apply to everybody who wants to use the product, which I estimate is a thousand words long but can't be arsed to check because it's all of a metre away from me, of which includes that you can only use the disk to install on one PC, you can't engage in the distribution of pirated software (even though somebody pirating Windows wouldn't pay for it anyway), and that you have to apply a super special sticker onto the PC when you install the OS. And to all of this, I was wondering to myself out loud, "Do you really think you have any power over me?". The amount of arrogance that Microsoft shows in peddling this to their customers, demonstrates a complete lack of respect for them as people, and instead more so as profit enhancing devices. I understand a lot of you use Windows (poor bastards), so I won't go for the Linux spiel, because if you're not interested in using the same operating system that supercomputers and the world's most popular websites use, then it's your loss. I will say though, that you've never known harmony with a computer until you've used Linux and got to learn just how much the computer hates you, and not just how it's been tamed through a tacky GUI and more security holes than the United States-Mexico border. Like I said - supercomputer OS! Missing out, mates.

§ October 28, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the Deskthority Wiki, which borders on fetishistic amounts of detail for anything keyboard related, which I suppose is a fetish as common as train sets and fire extinguishers. No I don't know what I'm on about, but given that these blokes, who have developed an entire wiki about everything to do with keyboard and keyboard accessories, seem to know what they're doing, the entire effort is impressive - and also fetishistic, as I described. While I'll never need to know the precise details of how to imprint keys onto caps, I suppose there is somebody who will, and will care very much about having those perfect keycaps with which to write with. Beyond that, the information on the underlying switches - which dictate the feel of the keyboard more than any other - as well as the makes of keyboards and what to look out for with each (brown switch 4 life), shows a great deal of respect for the implements that we use every day, without even realising it. Personally I'd like a keyboard with even less actuation force that the minimum of fourty-five grams, though that's because my tiny babby fingers have decided to be little bitches and whine whenever I type. Cut it out, you! I also realised that there will be a point in time where my blog (we hope!) will outlive most of the websites which I write about, and the failure to archive these sites mean that I will be referencing knowledge that is lost, forever, but only with fragments being referenced in sites like mine. It's poetic, really - though would be more so if I was talking about, I don't know, flowers and shit instead of keyboards.

RATTLING Fuck you to the "sharing economy", which Stallman describes as the "piecework subcontractor economy" because of the low wages for menial work, the company in charge getting a huge cut of the profits, the lack of unions or protective legislation for the workers, the ability to have your account (which is, in many cases, your sole source of income) be terminated for arbitrary reasons, the mental and social stress that comes from always being on-call, and the constant pressures from employees to perform any arbitrary task, being at the mercy of customers who will leave negative reviews which will affect their income permenently. So fuck you for... all of the reasons before, actually, which are all punctuated by this article (archive) and the other one (archive), comparing the work to that of the 19th century industrialist vicitims. It's a system that preys on the lowest-class and unskilled workers, those who do not have any more job opportunities, and exploits them for all they have for minimal pay and mentally damaging - and often physically hazardous - working conditions. It is not a sharing economy when one entity, the company who runs the racket, gets the worker's profits for doing nothing but providing a platform to advertise on; a tithe for a company that does not partake in any of the effort, the blood, or the sweat, that their beligerents suffer through, and yet are so presumptious as to maipulate their audience into believing this is in any way a fair deal. They are aware that their users are on the lowest social class, and are often in poverty, and instead of making more opportunities to help them earn fair wages, they continue to exploit them in the position that they cannot get themselves out of. Indeed, it's beneficial for the company to ensure that the worker never gets out of their lower-class status, as if they were any higher, they would not need to use their service. The malice is blatant for all but the dumbest and most ignorant of people, and anybody who defends this behaviour - who uses the PSE - is just as malicious.

§ October 27, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the BestVPN Ultimate Privacy Guide (archive), which is our weekly reminder of my original blog focus of Internet security, which I have abandoned because I had thought it was improper to keep harping on a static field. That said, there were some things that I missed, so instead of being a one-stop shop where I farm your clicks and you farm my knowledge and you benefit far more from the ordeal than I do, I'm forced generous enough to recommend this thing to you. When you say something like "Privacy", it becomes stale to the point of meaninglessness, where people get lazy because they assume that, one, nobody cares what they're doing (patent nonsense - it's impossible to know the full extent of how much information somebody has collected on you), or two, they're already safe enough as is. Well, no longer! For your ignorant populace, anti-intellectual to the point where I said "62 to the power of 6" in a presentation and my audience treated me like the special needs kid who likes fire extinguishers, I present to you the Ultimate Privacy Guide, which tells you all about how to minimise the damage you do every single day. I did find it a bit lacking, so I ended up creating a blog out of the desire to cover the angles that I, in all my experience (I'm saying this because people only think you're shit if you have experience - it could happen to you), haven't read up on at all. Even with three months of talking about security solid dick, with the immediate change to what I've always wanted to do - review things - there are still some subjects that I missed. Does this mean that I'll be back to bore you with some web sec................? Maybe.

RATTLING Fuck you to the continued insistence of hardware vendors, such as for your processors, graphics cards, motherboards, and so on, for failing to provide open-source versions of the code that makes your hardware work, when such code ensures that the hardware - the area of the computer most vulnerable to interference - is not being compromised by any third-parties, or by the developers who made the hardware. "Oh, Froge," and who the fuck are you? "Talking about privacy and open-source in the same day, are we :3 ? I'm certain that your insistence that you 'abandoned', you sure are going full Stall-maaaan :D ". And to be honest, you furry fuckers don't even deserve a response, though you have the sheer, dumb, luck, to have caught me at a time where I'm obliged to write something here, even though you didn't make any actual arguments, you dumbass. You clown. Here's a bombshell for you: when the basic components required to make your computer run have the potential to be exploited by anybody, even remotely, then you should be rightfully worried that the code that makes the hardware work is not being disclosed to the public - especially when that code affects billions (billions!) of people around the world. Any security fault, or malicious exploit, can bring down the infrastructure of the entire Internet, and so I would be concerned about anybody who isn't worried about such a thing existing. It is unfortunate then that this code ("code" for lack of a better word) is essential to make the things run, and even open-source drivers do not allow them to work at their full potential, locking users into a situation where they have to accept a bad thing, or else their functionality gets shot. Once again, this is the company exerting unjust power over the consumer. It's practices like these which cause domestic terrorism. Maybe.

§ October 26, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to this biography of Teller (archive), from the famous magician duo, Penn and Penn and Penn and Penn and Penn and Penn and Teller, for illuminating a great deal of light on subjects like magic (the interpersonal kind, not the spiritual kind), stage performances, the dimness of copyright law, what it means to be an artist, and whether or not somebody can take an idea that was offered to the public, and taken by the public, to be resold to the public. While I understand that reading 7,000 words about a magician seems like a task for only the most daunting of folks, the article is so damn interesting that you can get through it in twenty minutes, and it's worth every minute that you read. It touches on so many subjects on such a human level, about things that you would have never thought would make you proud, that you start to wonder what you're doing with your life that you can't go out and do the same things that Teller has. Sorry, I meant I start wondering, because the chances are that if you haven't done something beautiful yet, with all your age and experience and the potential to be great, then it will be a long time coming before you decide to fight the laziness and just... do good work. Here's a challenge for you: fight the laziness to get past seven thousand words, and just read through it to the end. Take a day, or a half-hour, and see what happens - a single half-hour out of your thirty-two waking ones, just for me. If nothing else, remember this quote: "Sometimes magic is just someone spending more time on something than anyone else might reasonably expect". When something as simple as that has the potential to make you rethink your life like it has mine, then it really is magic.

RATTLING Fuck you to live-action television, which I had previously described as a "horrible medium", but in which article I have no idea for the life of me, and the time spent curbing through it all could instead be spent writing this paragraph which I use to complain about the time I saved in order to write this paragraph. Alright, so I'm not dissing all of life-action television at once, which would be like saying that Cory i-[SHOT DEAD BY SNIPERS] Sword Art Online ruins the entire medium of anime because they represent the most middle-of-the-ground of the medium. I haven't been talking about art in a long time, which is a damn shame given how much I know about it, so when I say that every live-action television show I've seen assumes that you have the attention span of a goldfish, or a millenial, or breaded eggs, with so many cuts away from the main action in order to show you something else that's happening somewhere else entirely, or with dialogue so fast that you can't understand what they're saying on a level deeper than "I heard it being said", then it shows a great lack of respect for your audience by assuming that if you don't try to manipulate their emotions in the most blatant ways possible, for positive or for negative, then they will fuck off. Though given that it's United States television, whereas British television is a lot calmer, I'm guessing the disrespect is proper, as the only people who would be watching that horrible medium, which I had previously described as a "horrible medium" four sentences ago, would be the ones too ignorant of anything else they could be spending their time on. May you rest in peace television set, shot dead by snipers and pissed on by me.

§ October 25, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to Pannenkoek2012, which is apparently a foreign dish, but I'm racist, so foreign stuff is bad. You may be familiar with his work from the famous meme, "Parallel universes", in which a simple programming concept was taken to its logical conclusion and was assumed there were actual parallel universe inside a game cartridge, and not just the manipulation of coordinates. There was also the bit where they harassed some poor guy on YouTube for being mistaken about the logistics of a button designation, which was an absurd bit that resulted in a Supreme Court case, which you can view for free for $100 (an extra $50 for the DLC). While his Super Mario 64 videos will Blow Your Mind and Destroy Your Penis, speaking for themselves in sheer batshittery, what's more interesting is his side channel, which talks at length about how the game works, teaching you the fundamentals of programming in a non-threatening way, unlike that time I showed up at MIT in a suicide vest and the snipers blew my jaw clean off. Are you a complete dumbass who shows up at MIT in a suicide vest and has to spend the rest of your days in a hospital getting a cat's jaw surgically sewn onto your ugly, degenerate, face? Fuck you. But here's something to pass the time. May you rest in peace, pussyface.

RATTLING Fuck you to, oh Christ, fucking AIDS or something or another I don't know. It's a little known fact that I don't know what I'm on about ever, as I'm sure that anybody who peruses my blog will know (the dignified patrons of my establishment), and so anything that I say is complete patent nonsense. That said, you know what else is nonsense? When you're installing a program on Linux, for instance, and it says to you "you need to install this thing to make this other thing work!", yet doesn't offer to actually do that, despite having the full rights to. I would think that if you are aware you need something to be installed, and can identify by name what I need to install, then it isn't such a fucking stretch to go out and install it, now is it? The poor design decisions of whoever created Bash is beyond me, but let's see who it - Brian Fox? That sounds suspiciously like "Brian Cox"... Is the Cox Illuminati behind the inconvenience, trying to make us switch to a new operating system so he may launder a cut of the profits? You just don't know these days.

§ October 24, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the "Pardon Edward Snowden" website, which is rearing up to be a competitor to the /r/gayotters subreddit through sheer force of will. This website has one purpose: pardon gay otters. Also Edward Snowden, which is a little something the admins coded in an hour. While I find it amusing how the people considered United States heroes are the ones who are revealing secrets from a country with so much of them that it makes North Korea look transparent, I support the intent behind the treaty, which is to enslave our government masters and hold them to the same laws that they have set out for us, reinforcing the notion that nobody is above the law. In practice, the USA has built their entire identity on being above the law - internationally and domestically - so as to why Snowden would want to go back is beyond me. But still, if Obama (or whoever the fuck is in office next year i don't know) pardons the man, then it will be a precedent for the United States, saying that "perhaps we shouldn't have lied to our citizens for decades and threatened to execute somebody who revealed that", which will sure to be followed for all of five minutes before the next enhanced interrogation technique.

RATTLING Fuck you to the Red Book standard for audio CDs, for only defining 80 minutes of audio on each, to which I say FUCKING HA. My entire audio collection (which was all obtained through the MAFIAA allowed-channels with each and every song having proof of purchase I swear on me mum's life) can fit into that puny disk, all fourty-eight hours of it, if you actually compress the git properly and ignore the nerds who think that having that much music is a "small" collection. Granted, the Red Book was made in 1980, so I guess the designers can't be faulted for predicting the wild, wild future of the 2000s. So I guess I'll bitch about international standards costing money to license, instead of them being freely available to the same populace who abides by those standards every fucking day. The Red Book costs $100 to get arbitrary permission to have (an extra $50 for the DLC), even though Sony and Phillips are already making fat fucking bank off the patents, which continues to show companies that just can't get enough of green snakes - I mean greenbacks. How long until some brave soul with a hole in their pocket uploads all the standards for everybody to see forever? They'll be the next Kim Dotcom for sure - a foreign citizen getting fucked over by the United States. Today's article is brought to you by the USA - bringing new lows to the term "first world"!

§ October 23, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the subreddits (and I'm not posting this as a way to justify spending three hours pasting memes with my friend) /r/copypasta and /r/emojipasta, for being the premier, luxurious sites for everyone to satisfy their yiffy needs (nsfw text). While this will seem incredibly hypocritical if you've read today's "fuck you" before this one within the ten minutes that I was thinking of what to write for this section, consider the following. When you read somebody like wint (@dril) and you see the complete batshittery that goes on his feed every single day, do you think that he's being sincere? Of course not - it's an elaborate satire of what a pathetic loser would whine about in his daily life. While there were some of these copypasta that were originally meant in sincerity, the way they are presented, decontextualised from their original context, means there is no way that anybody can take them seriously now, and so it is impossible to offend the original posters of the pasta because there is no association with them (or any association being so stretched out as to become meaningless), and they are not being posted with malice intent towards the user. While I could write up an article on copypasta as an art form (don't hold me to it), I will say that it embodies sharing culture perfectly - something that nobody expected to be reused or creating being sent to the world like an ether, freely used by anybody for any ironic purpose. That's not even bringing up the copypasta which are made specifically to be copypasta, which is such a great example of taking the piss that my dream job of "copypasta maker" had gone up a few places, but still below "Bad Dragon CEO" and "Clown".

RATTLING Fuck you to some selections of subreddits, such as /r/cringeanarchy, /r/iamverysmart, and /r/lewronggeneration, for promoting a culture of toxicity as opposed to helpfulness, in a world where we need it the least. These subreddits originally seem like harmless laughs, but like the homosexual menace, they hide a dark secret within... These subreddits, despite their efforts to anonymise the victims, take the social awkwardness of people, who, either through ignorance, bad timing, a misguided audience, or a simple mistake, and instead of giving them any advice to help them out, decide to share their poor decisions on Reddit in order to laugh at them and then get upvotes. I always lived by the maxim (except as a child, as I was a fucking idiot child) "never mistake for malice what can be explained by ignorance", and it's because of this I never get upset when I see somebody make a mistake, in social terms or otherwise, and instead ignore it or try to explain what would be a better course of action, not saying I'm always successful. The posters of these subreddits, and more like them, decide not to ignore it or help out the victims, and instead choose to abandon their humanity and laugh at them for Internet points. It's bullying, plain and simple, and anybody who thinks they're immune to criticism from bullying because "it's the Internet", honestly doesn't deserve to be reading this blog.

§ October 22, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to yesterday's Dyn hack attack, which took down half the Internet, and made it so I couldn't log into Runescape, which means that I have a legitimate excuse for not reviewing that game which I had intended to two weeks ago and had all the time in the world to do except for one day out of fourteen. "What the fresh fuck are you on about, Froghand", you say with namesake ignorance stronger than John Cena, "are you suggesting that hackers should lay waste to the Internet and destroy the most important infrastructure in the world?". Good question, Strawman, but it's a strawman - fitting for who you are. My point is twofold: One, the Internet of Things is poorly-secured, reinforcing the idea that anything connected to the Internet, no matter with what apparant security features, can be hacked and manipulated, meaning that it is extremely important to determine what needs to be connected at any given point - but not to go full Stallman and download everything using a terminal (protip: wget -r -k -p). Secondly, the vast amount of things that are connected to the Internet means that, at any given point, a vulnerability can shut down the infrastructure of multiple cities all across the world, meaning that the entire world's technology can be turned against a single target, and this is a disasterous thing to leave unchecked. This hack demonstrates that the Internet of Things is a blunt hammer for a problem that nobody had, and the appropiate response is not to go after the hackers, but to change your habits to prevent them from striking further by reducing all that is connected to the Internet, and to ensure that what is, is as secure as you can make it. Or not buy into the Internet of Things, but I suppose that's too daffy, eh?

RATTLING Fuck you to the absurd download time of Mafia 3, a game I will in all likelihood never play, never recommend, never affect me, or ever be a factor in my life in any way. So in other words, it is an extremely important issue that I tell you exactly how to feel when I say that Mafia 3's download time is fucking rediculous. Oh wait, it wasn't me who's saying it - it's the bloke in the article (clicc that motherfucking link button). I already popped off about how games consoles are a RIGHT load of wank in my Nintendo Switch preview review, another console which will be a non-factor in my life yet I bitch about anyway because I want to see how wrong I'll be, but it bears repeating that buying a game and then having to wait well over a day in order to actually play the fucking thing, is an affront to consumers everywhere. Nobody, not even the poor bastards who bought a games console, deserves to have such blatant incompetence affect them, and I pray that the industry gets its shit together before it is snubbed out entirely (note: chances of this happening close to zero).

§ October 21, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to Simpsonwave, which I would have described as the natural end of our culture had I remembered to send the message to my friend. Simpsonwave is when you take vaporwave and shove it into The Simpsons, or at least a vaporwave-like thing and shove it into a Simpsons like thing, which is an incredibly stupid idea, which is why it's so beautiful that it worked out at all. The Wikipedia article (before it was deleted, in accordance with the "No fun allowed" policy), is one of my favourites, being a concise indicator of the way our Web culture works and how, like bacteria in tar, strange things emerge given pure chaos. The video that introduced me to it, SUNDAY SCHOOL, is one of the best justifications of remix culture, being thematically solid and excellently edited and an indication of how much The Simpsons has changed from then to now - similar to the timeless, otherworldly culture that Vaporwave presents. A lot of people are willing to shit on the genre because it's turned into a meme. Well, that's because it's so foreign to outside influence that you can't help but look at it with some reverence, and spread it because of it. Strange doesn't mean bad, eh? And though I never expected Simpsonwave to be good, I'm proud to be wrong.

RATTLING Fuck you to the natural desire for sleep, which has caused me to waste more time than any other with the need to go into a coman and then have hallucinations for a while. I've always been feeling lately that what I do exists independent of time, where I can spend all of it in the world, until I eventually get my head knocked around and then have to retire for the night. I suppose it's a folly to go against a universal thing, though given that nobody knows why it exists, I still have to wonder why it does. Don't ask me for any definite answers, though - if I found out, I wouldn't be just sitting here.

§ October 20, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the e621 uploading system, or the e926 one, if you're one of those strange furries who aren't okay with seeing some great tits once in a blue moon, or whatever the opposite of blue is. A red moon implies it occurs often, but not all the time. A white moon is more like. My point is that you see a lot of tits on one, and a lack of tits on the other, and we can all agree the choice is necessary to placace the church. The uploading is rapid and intuitive - take a picture, and you get a preview at an instant. The thing suggests tags based on your history, reminding you of all that exists. You can display sources and descriptions and all of that, and should you make a mistake after uploading, you can edit it in your browser, also at an instant. It's easy to use and easy to fix mistakes, and all of these are qualities that more collaborate websites should have, and not the Wikipedia method of assuming you'll read 100,000 words of help documentation before you edit a thing. Thank you porn site, for showing us the proper way to build a website: by making it easy to build. Now stop banning Tor you fucking wankers.

RATTLING Fuck you to the concept of a Smart TV, which is only smart in that it knows how to abuse you, your privacy, and thus your liberty. As outlined in this blog post by "Michael Price", which is not the name of an adult fiction novel character, just throwing it out there, the Smart TV is very similar to the telescreens from 1984 and the Big Brother Big Band. They can watch, they can listen, and the data can be dissimated throughout anybody who needs to know, and those who simply want to hack it, and you have no idea when they're doing any of things, or what the extent of their spying really is. The position of power that companies have over the user is such that they will deliberately disable critical features of a product if you do not accept their abusive terms, and the manipulation and control of technology is as dystopian of a future as I can imagine. The Internet of (Hackable) Things is not just paranoia - it's healthy paranoia, because any device that has the capability to not only track every aspect of your life, but with the ability to seriously hinder your life at any moment at the whims of the company, the government, or some kid with a laptop, is not one that I would ever accept. The only way to protect your freedom is to reject such abusive practices, and only use those devices which run free software.

§ October 19, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the demoscene, a collection of individuals who take computer hardware and make it their bitch. I suppose that the tender younguns who are browsing my blog think that this means nothing, seeing as they wrangle the power of their own little supercomputer every single day of their lives to do mundane tasks. When you consider a computer from 1981, one that was designed to print text and little else, and see what it's possible to do when you manipulate the hardware of it to the point where it's doing things that nobody could have predicted could exist way back when, you get something like 8088 MPH. When you take the brilliance of procedural generation and the discipline to learn these skills, you get Conspiracy, a demo with graphics that most games could only pull off with at least ten gigabytes. For reference, Conspiracy fits into sixty-four kilobytes - the size of a three-second MP3, and 75% the size of the September BUAFYs. If somebody can make a demo that is the equivalent of just eight thousand words, and make it look just as good as anything produced today, then why can't developers make work that is just as good given all the space in the world? I can think of little more reasons than ignorance and laziness - and it's inspiring to see them look like bitches in the face of hobbyists.

RATTLING Fuck you to Neocities, and though for all the time I say "fuck you" to it, they still keep me on here despite commiting multiple acts of sedition (everybody download the site while it's still up!). I assume it's for the fat advertising money they're making from the invisible ads they put exclusively for mimes, or to entice the hundreds of thousands of hamsters they use to run the server with. The issue is mundane: Neocities supports HTTPS, but fails to enforce it on a global basis, meaning that you can edit your site in encrypted security, but if you try to read your blog, it's out there in the open for anybody to snoop to it. I understand not wanting to interfere with your users sites, but you already put a "social widgets" file into my site whenever I download it, so I would be okay with you removing that and giving me a file that tells my browser to use HTTPS. It's one of the most basic steps web owners can take to secure their users privacy, and to have spotty enforcement means there will be a great deal of users who will have their liberty infringed by letting anybody spy on the sites they view.

§ October 18, 2016

AHHHHH Big up to Biz Markie for making a whole song about getting friendzoned the optipng program, for contuing my enduring fetish for small filesizes by letting me automagically [froge note: this word isn't used often enough] crunch .PNG files down to sizes that a Nigerian slum dog could download by poking a hole in an underground Internet cable and plugging it into a walkie-talkie. It's a dead simple tool - type it into a terminal and watch as your files are magically made smaller with no loss of quality. How does it do it? I have no idea, though I could get some idea if I had the free time to learn about how image compression works, as well as the implementation of such in the source code. The ability to have such tools poking around the web that is never taken advantage of except by the most obsessively tech-savvy shows that, even with all the advancements in computers, the efficiency of them are still in their infancy, and we have much work to do in the field to improve technology for everyone.

RATTLING Fuck you to my brilliant printer, name be protected for my grace, for refusing to print. Slow down the hecko, Jebro, you're saying that a thing which is supposed to do something does not do that thing? Are you talking to me? Who's Jebro? Where am I? I don't mind things breaking once in a while, assuming it was my fault, or it was their time to leave this mortal coil and gracefully die off. What I do mind is when they're broken and I have zero idea what's going on. The printer failed to give any indication of the problem it was having - a problem I stil don't know what - and so the best I could do was perform a hard reset and pray it worked. It ended up working, but because there was no way to tell what was wrong with it, I couldn't do anything else. If that is the case, why can't the printer reset itself if it detects something is wrong? Idiot programming every day, mates.

§ October 17, 2016

AHHHHH Big up to the functional portions of Linux Mint, for being an EZPZ way to learn Linux, so long as you don't change the graphics drivers and have to spend EIGHT FUCKING HOURS figuring out how to fix them. I realise this is like praising a microwave that only explodes if you type in a value that ends in :39, but it is a very nice microwave with a good GUI and a lot of programs that teach you how to be better, not just in one specific operating system, but with computers in general, teaching you a good deal of discipline in file and program management to make sure you don't burn your cold pizza. One hell of a microwave, eh? There's not much bad to say about Mint - the GUI is responsive and intuitive, being customisable so you can make up for the developers horrible design decisions (like icons for folders, which makes me think I'm on a children's toy and not a workstation), and everything that you can't do with a GUI you can open up in the Bash console and then scrub some commands that you bootleg off the Web, teaching you a valuable history of building upon the work of previous co-workers through networked interaction and conscious altering of system variables (copying from Stackexchange). Mint is free and it makes you smarter and is one of the best operating systems out there - unlike Ubuntu, which has included Amazon spyware for three years and thought that their users were fucking idiots for not wanting their searches broadcast to Big Brother Bezos.

RATTLING Fuck you to DuckDuckGo, who I asked to upvote my blog and instead downvoted it the truly arcane process with which some websites are designed, such as a library page with three hundred lines of whitespace before the content, and thirty spaces in front of every line after that, the Imgur page with the mysterious floating letters that won't load because I buggered up something on my client, and website which will straight up block you if you're not using Google Chrome. So I guess Google is the new Texas, with the websites patrolling the border to keep out the filthy rapists from infesting their lush, educated, and socially-conscious society slash s. It's good to see sites like mine that work on your DS Web browser, being coded exclusively in a twenty-year-old language and with resources that are as easy on the bandwidth than an apt-get request (sorry) makes for a site that can be viewed by anybody with the conviction and ability to deal with swears and furries. What I'm saying is that my website is great, and if you have to shameless rip off a Website like I did with Maddox, then rip off mine and you won't go wrong.

§ October 16, 2016

AHHHHH I wrote 500 words here and I didn't save them and now they're gone. This was the original sentence that I posted on my BUAFY page on October 16, though given how much of a ponce I made myself look on this day, I suppose it bears an apology to say that, even though I was tired and frustrated and having one of the worst experiences of the last few months, it didn't do anybody any good for me to storm off in a huff without a reason. Yeah, anybody would understand why I would pretty much abandon the blog for a day, but then I'm not trying to be "anybody". I'm trying to make the highest quality work, treating my audience with respect instead of contempt. I want to give them what they deserve - they're following a nutter like me, after all. To disrespect them by not providing adequate grounds, even for a day, for me to take my ball and go home and abandon the blog gives me pangs of regret for my absense. I should have just bit the bullet and redone the update instead of being a baby - I guess I still am a baby in a lot of ways. The good thing to come out of it was such typoes as "NVIDIDIA" and "anynthing", which is the type of cringe comedy that usually comes out of mentally ill people - and it was blind fucking luck that the only two typoes in the work were the emphasised ones, which shows a quantum anomaly with formatting that may be abused to execute arbitrary code.

RATTLING Fuck you to Nvidia. I say this a lot, to the point of meaningless, though let me reiterate: Fuck you, Nvidia. Your faulty drivers, which would not install when I asked them to, which would not allow my computer to boot when I switched to your default drivers, and which wasted three hours of my life trying to get my computer to work again because of your own fucking incompetence - three hours of my life I could have been doing anything else with - have caused me the worst grief that I've experienced in over a month. You have created the least-intuitive and most idiotically designed installation I've ever seen, which I have had the misfortune to learn is the standard for Linux programs, as everything that you don't require searching the answer to online is a miracle in this barren apocalypse. When you asked for root, I gave you root, and when you asked me to shut down my GUI to install a driver - something that you, with root access, should have been able to do - you left me with a blank screen. When I opened the console, your threw up errors when I installed you again, causing it to crash, burn, restart, and leave my computer hanging. It is only after three hours, three hours of which I have wasted specifically because of you, that I have gotten my computer to a workable state - not an optimal one. Not one where everything is back to normal. Just barely workable. Whatever outrage I felt because of you from last time, whatever outrage I cooled off since then, is now unforgiven. Fuck you, Nvidia.

§ October 15, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the judges who create legal opinions as part of their every day jobs, one such example being R. v. Sharpe, a test of the limits of free expression as it relates to child porn. Granted, I'm not a judge or a lawyer or even a law student (fuck me if I'm going to fill out paperwork all day), but it is important to take an interest in the law that governs all of us, as it affects and controls what you do every single day, for better or for worse. The paper is truly long, and within that, it boggles the mind a little because of just how much work needs to be put into every one of these opinions - and this is one of the shorter ones, too. When was the last time you had to write an essay for school, and how long and formal did it have to be? If you're a youngblood, as my entire audience is (turn back - strong men only), then it was probably a few pages long without any rigor to it. As you get older, you have to develop more standard and longer forms of writing, neutering your prose as you place filler in the minimum ten or twenty pages or whatver you had to arbitrarily fill out. Consider that this judgement is 43,000 words long - 110% the size of "The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" - it would be a hellish job to simply write out one opinion through your entire lifetime. You have to write in a way that does not imply any bias outside the facts of the case, where writing objectively for even a few pages is a mentally straining task, as any Wikipedia editor knows, is formatted according to the standard, ensures that all cases cited are correct and factual, does not contain any major errors or ommissions, and has to cross-reference between dozens of other cases and understand the individual facts of each, it's a truly incredible thing to behold that only a few hundred people, most of which who are paid to troll through these opinions, fail to bear witness to the magnitude of these opinions. If judges can spend every day writing out these opinions, in all their bloated, taxing, exhausting glory, for thousands of words at a time, then why the bloody fucking hell can't you work on your novel, or work on your blog, or work on your art, or work at a skill, or work on something that you've always wanted to do in your life? You have all the freedom and time with none of the rigour, so the only thing stopping you is your own damn laziness. I would like to thank all the judges - right or wrong or retarded or otherwise - for creating these opinions, because whenever I feel like my job is too hard, I just look at an opinion and realise it could be far, far worse.

RATTLING Fuck you to /r/yiff subreddit, and it's BUAFYs like these which make me double-check if I should hand my blog out to people, but I assure you that no matter your basic opinions on my content, it will continue to be made for the benefit of those who enjoy it - including me. The yiff subreddit is a completely innocent one that has cute little foxes running around and has nothing to do with foxes fucking at all. I assure you the content is 100% safe and does not feature any graphic depictions of unidentifiable species masturbating with a variety of sex toys in various compromising positions poe's law poe's law. I had complained to my barely-sexual friend, in a society where barely-sexual means you masturbate once every two days instead of one, that the brilliant users of Reddit were upvoting the most technically skiled and grotesque depictions of yiff, as opposed to those that affect more emotions than basic lust - emotions such as affection, romance, or the desire to hug something which does not exist. It's important to note that nudity by itself is not a problem, unless you're some prude that has a problem with the very same cocks and twats that you possess (not at once, unless you're rare). I simply wish to see nudity expressed in more creative ways than just "I want to fuck this thing right now without any consequence", damaging the furry fandom's reputation as a mecca for creative sexuality, instead being seen as an appeal to base emotions. Granted, sometimes those appeals are nice, but when it appears all the bloody time, it wears thin, making it harder to appreciate the innately sexual nature of the furry fandom (that some furries are trying to cover up, which is like telling Iran to stop exporting oil). I commend all artists that express their sexuality in more creative ways than what is on display at /r/yiff, including those that somehow got to the top slots of the subreddit, as it improves your culture, and your audience, immensely. Incidentally, my mother is now viewing this website - please enjoy this blatant pandering to a subgroup of people that I may or may not happen to be in. No, I'm not a yiffer - I'm just pretending to be. Incidentally, I am also not racist, and not a terrorist, and I am training to become a doctor to rack up those good boy points from parents who have been out of my life for many years. Fucking bitch.

§ October 14, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the book "How to learn C the Hard Way", for teaching you such useful skills as how to manage a restaraunt's infrastructure for maximum safety and efficency, as well as the proper maintenance of a large dog. You never know what you're going to get with these types of books - it's almost like they have their entire purpose written in the title. The book takes a no-holds-barred approach to programming, teaching you less about how to grind out a language for everyday work, and more so becoming a computer wizard, because the computer hates you, and everybody who uses a computer knows this. It's also very useful for encouraging people to get off their ass and learn how to use Linux, thanks to its EZPZ setup guide that is just outdated enough so as to make you learn things by yourself - always good for experience! It comes with a bunch of videos and a lot of examples and prose that isn't shit at all, which is incredible given how so many textbooks maximise shit and minimise content. Unfortunately, I was unable to get the videos to work, as I had blatantly pirated a copy from a Polish tracker site along with my Call of Duty: Advance Warfare hacks, which was totally not a virus me mum swears on me life. With this book, I'll code my own cool hacks - and then sell it to you at the market price of ten grams of weed.

RATTLING Fuck you to the vulturisation (yes I made that word up) of inexpensive technologies repurposed into overpriced ones for the benefit of the seller. When you take a terabyte hard drive that costs fifty dollars, shove it into a ten dollar hard drive case, and then sell the end result for a hundred and twenty dollars, you have done little more than charge double the price of a product that a consumer can easily make by themselves. These products appeal to the worst of people - those too lazy or ignorant to learn how to create inexpensive, yet just as effective goods for people who are willing to build them within a few minutes. You might say that they are paying for the idiot-proof convenience, or for having proprietary software that snoops on the hard drive, or for having a good-looking one. My boy, when you idiot-proof your work, only idiots will use your work. I encourage all my readers to not buy into the scam of overpriced goods that you can create yourself - such as prebuilt PCs, home security systems, and emulatable games consoles, and instead learn how to create what you want using the parts you can buy for cheap, saving you money and teaching you valuable job skills in the process. Say no to prebuilts whenever possible - and for what you can't build, make a choice that protects your freedom.

§ October 13, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the Wikipedia list of Unusual articles. You might think this is some "Ripley's Believe it or Not" deal where you look at some krazy sights with a K and then purge it out of your life forever. I then say, as somebody whos mind has been forever ruined by years of Internet abuse (it's a fetish, eh?), that even for somebody who has personally read the details of how to have a live worm wriggle into your urethra (I'll keep bringing this up until somebody complains), there is something unnevering on a physical level about the existence of the "ugly stick", an instrument with a vaguely unsettlng name and an appearance that looks like a shelved weapon that was never meant to see the light of day. Oh, that's tame? Alright, here's an article about a fetus being expelled through a corpse's vagina. And also one about a bomb that makes you gay. You're welcome.

RATTLING Fuck you to my weak, decrepit, jelatin-filled, degenerate, piece of shit arms. I've been doing this community exercise routine called the "Night Shift" - so named because it's what cops use to stay fit during theirnight shift, fitting into a ten minute window inbetween arresting me for Googling "Top 10 Hottest Sonic Anime Girls" 6,000 times. Me and the fellas, and they are always fellas, do such police training every week as part of a community event, but for the first time that this night shift was implemented, it was bloody hell. When I couldn't carry my own weight using my own two arms that I have been gifted with my entire life, that's when I knew I wasn't living up to my full potential as a human being. I want all of you klowns and kooks out there to take this as a lesson - you can be good at some things, hell, a lot of things, but if you don't have the respect and the determination to remove your problems, then they will come back to fuck you up when you least expect them to.

§ October 12, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to Sonicpacker, who is both a Sonic and Packer's fan, and single-handedly responsible for the "Top 10 Sonic Anime Girls" video that has been condemned by the United Nations for supporting terrorism, for his brilliant TAS of Super Mario 64 - and after years of being in the speedrunning game (having sped no runs and gamed no run speeds), I thought I had seen it all when it came to this brilliant discipline. I am so happy to have been proven wrong, as my constipation has been cured and my bowels have decided to eject shit out of me like lube at an all-squirter's orgy. That was the worst thing I've ever written. If you don't have the time or the conviction to view all ninety minutes and 2,136,942 re-records that Sonicpacker totally did himself because it was uploaded onto his YouTube channel, and the other fourteen TASers are on there because they have the same relationship as King John and the barons of the Magna Carta Libertatum, then gaze your aging and geriatric eyes at the majesty that is the Bob-Omb Battlefield section, which brought a tear to my aging and geriatric eye at the beauty of the thing. Sad that I lost the other one in 1215, and even sadder that I have to subtract points from the run for having the "2041 L IS REAL" meme in the description, which is such a spooky creepypasta that I shit myself every time I even see it mentioned, much like "Smile Dog", "Suicide Mouse", "Top 10 Hottest Sonic Anime Girls", et cetera.

RATTLING Fuck you to the scammers blowing up my credit cards in the dead of night, sapping whatever meager cash I had in my dilapidated, degenerate, piece-of-shit society, and spending all of it on eggs to stick up the twats of their whore wives - and then have them eject it back out, because that's their fetish. It's their fucking fetish. They blow the money on the plastic, motherfucking eggs, and then they stick it in and out of their holes like they were fucking dildoes. For fucks sakes. If I were to check my prepaid account balance, and found that I had been charged fifty bucks for the North Korean Mutual Defense Fund, at least I could understand the purpose. But these scammers - these pervert, furry, motherfucking ass donkers, didn't even have the balls to launder the cash - only through the most vapid and thin of disguises did they charge the money to. The only way to solve this issue... is to nuke China ban the sale of eggs. There is nothing that a man can do when there's nothing to shove up his asshole.

§ October 11, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to Jagex. You know, from Runescape. Like Trixie from marketing, or Trixxxie from Hooters. I apologise to all the Trixies out there who have to deal with having a porn star name, like "Crystal", "Faith", "Frisky", "Fucktube", "Top 10 Hottest Sonic Anime Girls", et cetera. This is going to be a phrase worthy of shitting yourself over, but I think a game company is doing a really good job. I got through that sentence without being assassinated, so I'm sure somebody agrees with me when I say that Jagex is one of the more ethical multiplayer gaming companies out there. Granted, it isn't that hard, given that the competition treats their customers like lab rats, experimenting on them like the little babies that Facebook adopts and then trains to remove clickbait. Given that Jagex is giving away 20% of the bloody game for free, separating paid accounts and free accounts like 8 Mile, this coincides with their anti "pay to win" philosophy, which states that nobody can use money to gain an advantage. This fifteen-year-old policy is in stark fucking contrast to a game like Overwatch which not only costs eighty fucking dollars brand new, but also expects you to pay in-game microtransactions to get new shit. Meanwhile, Runescape is free, and for ten bucks a month, you get access to a massive expansion pack that would be well worth the eighty dollars you would normally spend on Overwatch, a Bad Game For Twats Trademarked Hope Nobody Notices I've Never Played The Game. It's kind of fitting that Jagex adopted this policy in the tender years of 2002 - an employee in 2016 would be executed for suggesting such a thing.

RATTLING Fuck you to Games Done Quick, the premier terrorist organisation for speedrunning events. The kind militants at GDQ have had a long and storied history against the gaming comunity - first they targeted Twitch chat, but I did not speak up, as I was not in the chat. Then it was the runners, and I did not speak up, because they rejected my Yoshi's Story run for three years in a row and I had money on that shit. Then, they came for fun. And there was no-one left to speak for me, if only because the last time I had fun I got banned from a Minecraft server and everything after that has been one big let down. The Islamic State of Games Done Quick and the Levant has only one goal, but they do it well: destroy the heathens of fun. Their tactics are simple, yet effective - minimise controversy. Whether it's censoring Twitch chat whenever a transgender person comes on stage, chastising a streamer for wearing an inappropiate T-shirt and negatively affecting the run quality, preventing their audience - and their community - from being a part of a community event, only having them exist, and for generally stamping out any semblance of character from what is supposedly the mecca for gamers to get together to shoot the shit with. If nothing else, look at Games Done Quick as an example of what happens when you prioritise the money above all else - you get the money, but you become ridiculed as an empty shell of what you once were.

§ October 10, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to "Kennedy"................ at The Lifecast for their................. article on bootleg mobile and flash games and why they exist. Hint: it's China's fault. It's always China's fault. Except when it's Brazil's fault. It's sometimes Brazil's fault. The article answers a lot of questions that you may have regarding "Disney Frozen Elsa Slime Brain Surgery", and what soulless human beings would sell themselves out for doing work that is below even the most desperate and pathetic laborer in a developed country. As with all bootleg products, it's to trick the dumbest populace - mostly young children - into buying their products, morality or personal responsibility be damned. So the games, void of any content, pop up like little blemishes on the body of society. They make you spend money on the itch cream, and multiply before you get them all. I forgot where I was going with this metaphor. Well, fortunate that "Kennedy"................ put the ideas into better words than I, though granted, they................ have the privilege to be sober while writing.

RATTLING Fuck you to World of Warcraft, for taking up over fourty gigabytes of space on an installation. Forty fucking gigabytes! For a game released in 2004! I remember when we had games on cartridges the size of your fist, with eight megabytes of storage on them, and you made the most out of that goddamn storage or else the entire project got cancelled. And they charged you eighty bucks for that eight megabytes, and compare that to an era where eighty bucks gets you two terabytes of data on a good day, and you understand just how lazy today's programmers have the privilege to be. Back in the day, programmers were wizards. They had to make the most out of their incredibly underpowered hardware to get games to run - it was a miracle that we got any good games at all out of things like the Nintendo DS and Nintendo 64, just because of the limitations of the systems. Nowadays everybody has computers that would have cost a million dollars just ten years ago, and programmers are using that power to make sloppy, unoptimised, uncompressed work, regardless of how much stuff actually deserves to be in a game. World of Warcraft isn't a blockbuster, shit-yourself game by any means - and it doesn't even have the graphics to poorly justify that amount of space. I bet, given a decent crunch of the game's content, it could be reduced down to ten gigabytes. At least then it would be representative of what is actually in the game, and not the grindy-walky it is.

§ October 09, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to JoyToKey, a piece of software whose website has an awful, awful font if you're on Tor Browser, for letting me get some use out of my scrubby Gamecube controller and letting me play Dota 2 with it - over a year ago, because nowadays my tastes are far more refined and I can tell when something is trying to addict me. Awful font aside, it is a piece of proprietary nagware that uses CNET and Softpedia for its downloads. Strange - usually when you say "aside", you're supposed to put something positive in front of it. Noncontiuum aside, the software is a "robust" piece of work, and robust is code for "fucking awful interface", though it is robust, and "robust" is also code for "has a lot of features as well as a fucking awful interface". It lets you hook up any gamepad that can interface with your computer and assign keyboards to it, letting the controller spoof the exact functionality of each key, effectively letting you play any PC game with your controller. You can also write the Great American Novel on your NES controller, and if you do, please send me your config files so I can, too. If I was on Reddit I might say "and also send me your nudes", but you know what? I can get nudes anytime I want. Ever hear of porn? That's what I thought, bloody wanker.

RATTLING Fuck you to websites with exceedingly poor standards of password security, such as by making passwords be a maximum length, not accepting symbols for passwords, and disallowing people copying and pasting passwords. These factors discourage the use of strong, randomly-generated passwords, in favour of a random asshole making their own up on the spot, and the potential to forget something like "random_assh0le" is as large as the potential for somebody to crack that password. Unless the server owner wants a rainbow table Python Lucky Seven attack on its MD5 salt database django, I suggest they get rid of the "maximums" for passwords, and focus more on the "minimums", encouraging people to create, and I understand this is basic dick but it is still solid dick, passphrases that are computationally harder to break and easier to remember, as well as leading them to password managers like Master Password, as well as my Master Password article, which features a lot of information about said Python Ubuntus. I suppose that any company that was serious about their security would already know what to do, and some old fart like me wouldn't change their minds one bit, though consider this a warning to the youngbloods to not pull another Yahoo.

§ October 08, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to WarioWare D.I.Y., a game wherein you create other games, and we can all assume that's a good thing. Released for the Nintendo DS, and another entrant in the great "best games library" debate, being brutally contested by the PlayStation 2 and said Nintendo DS, this humble cartridge was released recently enough where it can't be considered retro, but long enough where a few people can get nostalgic over the good old days of 2010 - the year of shitty Cheezburger Network memes. Have you heard of Mario Paint? Probably, unless you're in a reclusive common law relationship with a rock and your pebble children, living out your days underneath a hard place. This game is indeed Mario Paint, though you can also make your own five-second video games and comics as well as composing songs. The reason I bring it up is because I actually learned a fucking lot from this game about how games work - that's all they are, fucking flags! There's a flag to do this and a flag to do that and you slap some graphics over and away we go. It teaches you the fundamentals of game design in a way so easy that even a toddler can do it, with an engine complicated enough to even allow for some clever hacks if you're a shitty resourceful programmer. Not only that, the music and comic making software is advanced enough to be a good start for anybody to begin their creative dreams. A damn shame it wasn't ported to PC, as mouse control would have been the bomb. On an unrelated note, features the largest collection of no-bullshit Nintendo DS ROMs on the Web, which is an excellent companion piece to the DeSmuME emulator, the most advanced Nintendo DS emulator on the market today! Don't buy now! It's freeee!

RATTLING Fuck you to MEGA. If I was, for instance, somebody who hated art, fun, free culture, and the destruction of classism, I would be not a cunt, but a cunt who is upset that the service is used to distribute media files in a way where nobody can snoop the content unless they possess the key, causing passive surveillance to be difficult if not impossible. For somebody who isn't a cunt, and therefore is me, the principle of MEGA - protecting the privacy of its users for whatever reason, not just copywrong related ones, is a noble one that must be upheld in times where your government will arbitrarily search your files for fear of terrorists or the gays or whatever the meme is nowadays. The principle is solid - which is why it is such a damn shame, damn damn shame, the website is coded by a team of monkeys. Uploading files causes your connection to saunter between 90% and 10% of its potential every few seconds, almost like it was using shitty BitTorrent, completing an upload gives you a 50% chance of it showing up in your files after you close the page, and a 50% chance of causing the last three hours you spent watching it to poof into thin air, and the website has a user interface slower than bloody Tumblr. I don't know what dark magic occurs beneath MEGA's surface, but given that it is one of the only safe file hosting options today (though remember to encrypt your data yourself before uploading), I expect better from the flagship "the Internet privacy company".

§ October 07, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the "The Hollywood Reporter", and that's with two "the"s because I have no idea how to articulate titles like that, and pronouncing it in the most awkward and tounge-shattering way will guilt them into removing the preposition from their name. Expect more great articles from the "The New York Post", great records from the "The Beatles", and great exposition from the "The Fault in our Stars", and as you can see I'm slipping the mickey here, not to be confused with taking the mickey, as I can't be bothered to take it unless somebody slides it over to me like a dad doing the "The Electric Slide". No, I'm not just showcasing the silly name - it's actually for this article about "Hollywood Salaries Revealed", even though they were already public information, though I guess "Hollywood Salaries Categorised" isn't as catchy. It's interesting to see just how much money we spend on the most privileged members of society, despite them doing very little to enhance it beyond two hours worth of entertainment a couple of times a year. I will never understand our cultural fascination with humans who we have arbitrarily designated as above us because of their appearance in a film that costs as much to make as Gambia's gross domestic product, as opposed to those who have actually gone out and changed the world. Thank you, the "The Hollywood Reporter", for showing us the banality of our entertainment industry using nothing more than some numbers and the people next to them.

RATTLING Fuck you the site that deleted five minute worth of copypasta the common Wikipedia practice of showcasing, on its front page, pictures of maps, coins, and cards under its featured picture section. The purpose of this section is to showcase the best of the best that Wikipedia has to offer when it comes to libre pictures - and indeed, there are stunning photographs on there that you're able to adapt into your own work. I should note, however, that if you are going to showcase something on the front page of a website that is viewed by over twenty million people every day, you would showcase something more impressive than a map of the world, or a coin photographed on a black background - as if you have seen one coin or one map, you have seen the all, and though coin fetishists would tell you otherwise, they are fucking boring. I would appreciate it very much if the dozen or so ants that make up the Featured Pictures squad could showcase works of art that makes me stare intently at the screen and wonder how I lived my life to deserve such beauty - works like "Accolade", where the more you look at it, the more inspired you are. You don't feel the same level of beauty by looking at a coin. I don't doubt that there are some people who will defend coin making as an art form, but that won't change the vast majority of people finding it as uninteresting as fire extinguishers.

§ October 06, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to Slick Rick's "Behind Bars" video, not just because it's been stuck in my head for the past week, and not even because it's a fluidly animated and beautifully choreographed music video. A little bit of context - Slick Rick is one of the most influential rappers in the game, being famous in the early stages of hip-hop for his storytelling and performances, but fading into obscurity in the 21st century as he stopped producing new albums and his style grew out of the public eye. Interesting to note that "La Di Da Di" has been sampled over 500 times, and if you know anything about House music, you'll probably have heard the samples he invented without even realising he invented them - even the "Hypnotise" verse was all him. "Behind Bars" came much later in his career, where he was stuck in jail and with nothing to do, leading to a series of interviews in prison, including one from 1994 that was uploaded by a bee, though none of which telling who did the animation on the video - which is a shame considering how damn good it is. This blog for millenials, E.G. a graphic design blog, tells me that a bloke called Sash Andranikian animated it, though the Web is telling me nothing as to the identity of this spook, and I've found no other sources on it. It's an example of just what animation can do given a creative mind - and one which I've been enamoured with for a long while.

RATTLING Fuck you to Nvidia, or maybe NVIDIA, but I can't be arsed to look up their real spelling because they have disrespected me. That's why they're in the "fuck you" section - they're fucking with me, so I'm fucking with them by saying fuck you. That's the purpose of the "fuck you" section. It's to say "fuck you". So "fuck you", Nvidia, or maybe NVIDIA, but I can't be arsed to [program halted - loop detected]. Nvidia recently let out an update to their software that updates drivers, except it will no longer do that unless I sign up for either a Facebook, Google, or NVIDIA account, and tying everything I do to a single account with a piece of hardware that is directly plugged into my computer is something I'm not willing to let any of those companies snoop on. A person should never have to sign up for an account for automatic updates that are a fundamental part of customer support - though it seems that the standards for companies in the New 10s have been so lax that a lazy populace will let any shit be shoved down their gullets and they won't even mind. This issue is so obvious that I don't even need to make any points for it, as to hold hostage fundamental firmware updates unless you agree to have all your activity associated with one account, is such an affront to digital liberties that they are self-apparent. Naturally, I won't be buying from Nvidia anymore, and I encourage anybody who has done the same to e-mail NVIDIA ( and tell them your feelings on the matter.

§ October 05, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to e926, the premier safe-for-work-and-your-mum-and-her-mates spin-off site of e621, which is the premier safe-for-work-if-you-work-at-a-furry-convention site for furry porn and furry porn related accessories. If I recommended you my blog recently and you're just tuning in now, then you might be assuming I'm taking the piss. I must ask you then to cease your microfurgressions and your passive fursection of my people, proud as they may be, so long as nobody pulls out their dick for the gorilla who must not be named for fear of having its legacy be tarnished. Furries are like those little rat Tribbles from Star Trek - they exist to eat and fuck, and are born pregnant, yet also having an eighty year life span and access to the Internet to bum around with. I'm wondering what the point of this site is, to be honest. Here we have a culture that is almost universally bullied for having the balls to be outside the standard deviation for acceptable levels of "normal", and they want to create a site you can look at in public so you can be bullied some more. Maybe there are furries out there that don't like porn, but that's like a BDSM fetishist who doesn't like spankings - possible, though you have to wonder why you got into the fandom in the first place if you're going to cut out 90% the content like Civilisation V. But anyway, it's better to have the option to not be lewded up without your consent, and I am enjoying the challenge of finding the most sexual image on there that still warrants a "safe" rating, so please enjoy this honourary mention in the annals of Froge.

RATTLING Fuck you to the YouTube trending tab, for showcasing what I would call "prolefeed" if I worked for Huffington Post and needed to show to my mates that I have a legitimate job and not just one bitching about the injustices of mankind, and what I am now calling "the cancer killing YouTube", though when you've already turned Terminal Seven like YouTube has, nothing short of unanesthetised testicle surgury can make the situation worse. I think it's telling about a company when just a decade ago it was considered one of the coolest sites on the Web, a source of unabashed creativity and community, where memes lived and died like they were nothing - only for the site to offer itself for vivisection and spend the last three years spasming at every opportunity Google takes to cut into it. Nowhere is this more reflective than the most popular videos on YouTube, which I have previously described as the "TMZ" as websites, but is now better described as the "TLC" of the Web: a series of lowest-common-demoninator advertisements, sponsored content, and pop culture pandering that exists only to extract advertising revenue from the most disinterested and barely-alive populace that exists today. YouTube is promoting a culture of novelty and instant gratification, where anything that gets views, no matter how vapid it is, is ripe to be picked off of its website, without caring one bit for standards of quality or what it does to the audience it subjects it to. I suppose that comparison to prolefeed is accurate, after all. A series of videos made by people who barely register in their own lives, shipped off to consumers even worse off than them, designed to placate them to keep watching more videos and make them money, killing their ambition by telling them it's perfectly okay to be average, when past and current events show that the average person is a disposable person, and will have no impact on a world made by the computers that replace them. It's a wide world full of opportunity, but with YouTube, it might as well not exist.

§ October 04, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the Jimquisition (or is it the The Jimquisition?) video on excessively high scores in the video game industry. It's short, sweet, and with Jim's "stage presence" constantly providing a source of entertainment. I'm saying he's big. No, I don't know if he's fat. Is Penn Jilette fat? I don't know. I'm saying he's big. Fuck you Jim Sterling is one of the few good voices in the gaming industry, and one of the few good voices on YouTube in general, saying smart things in a way that combines an appropiate ego with an optimism for video games that you just don't find anymore - something I'm trying to revive, actually. I was going to use this video as a source for my "Review of Game Reviewers", which nobody reads because I titled it like a Wikipedia article, but I ended up not doing so because it was so damn good that I didn't need no man to support it. The video is as good as my article, and I made a good article so you damn well know that it's good, and it summarises some of the points of entitled gamers and the pressure that reviewers face, points that I didn't cover because I focused instead on what reviewers do and not the reactions they provoke. To fill in the gap, please watch the video. And if you don't give a shit, watch it anyway, because "A show in which a fat British man who wears sunglasses indoors rants angrily about the injustices of mankind" (he's fat after all!) is one worth watching. Side note: the "Oversnatch: A XXX Parody" review, is fucking incredible.

RATTLING Fuck you to Google, for their recent, as recent as in today but not the day after if by some chance you are reading the day after, announcement of various G-Things. Beyond the typical Google spiel of Web storage (and spying on your photos), a new cell phone (and thus spying on your calls), and Chromecast (spying on everything you watch), there's also the brand new Google Home G-Thing, which is rapidly developing technology to the "Trash Can Singularity", which is the theoretical point where every new computer looks like a trash can. I always wanted an air freshener in every room of my house recording everything that I do at every hour, being shipped off to some company in California which has enough employees to create their own nation state, and then have that data be remotely exploited by some kid with a laptop so they know what I do as well. I'm pissed off at all of these, naturally, though it's more so in the narrarative of "fuck Apple" that butters my toast against the grain. We should all say "fuck Apple", but come on, it's coming from a multi-billion dollar company, not some youngblood with a green blog. It comes off as Google dick-riding apple, the same way Microsoft is dick-riding Linux, trying to lend the olive branch before detonating the bomb vest and shitting the joint up. Google even ripped off the iPhone design, trying to position themself as "an iPhone but better", which isn't very hard seeing as Apple has been phoning it in for the past three years and everybody who isn't a teenager is catching up to their old tricks. I didn't even like the design that much, save for the tasty 5C, but Google ripping it off shows a lack of respect for anything you do in your industry. I would say the mobile phone industry is a pissing contest to appeal to the lowest-common-denominator, but that's giving it too much credit.

§ October 03, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the KEATS COLLECTIVE, collective... in regards to keats... for featuring a collection of FREE (BUT NOT AS IN FREEDOM) and HOT (BUT NOT AS IN PORN) future funk tracks for you to try out and download, including the works of The Artist Formerly Known as Saint Pepsi, and Flamingosis, who you may have heard of if you knew a damn thing about vaporwave way back in the tender years of 2015. Sadly, there is very little vaporwave in the KEATS COLLECTIVE, which is sad considering how cool the counter-culture was way back when, only to swiftly die and be absorbed by Google's Materials Design - and you know a company is aiming for a monopoly when it absorbs our fucking aesthetic. While I'm hoping that vaporwave doesn't die out, as it is one of the most unique things to ever come out of the Internet, it seems like future funk is taking its place as the hot new counter-culture for the denizens of /mu/ and all those who rip it off. Enjoy, ye monsters, the sound of the future, and conveniently ignore that it is more house than funk.

RATTLING Fuck you to nobody, because I've been racking my brain for a half-hour thinking about what to complain about. The fact of the matter is that I have had nothing substantial to complain about, and this is not because I am too lazy to write things - indeed, I have been writing the equivalent of a novel every month, and this little paragraph is about the same length as what I would write normally. Sometimes you have to step back and look at the world that there is little you have to complain about, as to focus on squabbles to the point where they become petty is to focus on the moles on an otherwise very pretty face. I could bitch about my own life, but, that's my thing, and if it can't help your thing, why even bring attention to a thing? Let's all talk about my theoretical swamp crotch, shall we? Oh, that won't do, because half my audience hasn't even had their balls drop. Low blow!

§ October 02, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to the Rational Wiki article on Wikipedia, which condensed a lot of my ideas about Wikipedia into a small space. There's a lot to say about this website, but I like the following train of thought. Wikipedia is good at the extremes - when it comes to facts, its editors make sure that facts are fairly expressed, even if the facts are agreed upon by popular vote, which is why it entertains the idea of religion while ignoring the unpopular, though correct scientific views. When it comes to patent nonsense, its editors destroy bullshit at a rate greater than any for-profit editor for, as an army of clerks will always out perform the expert. When it comes to the inbetweens, Wikipedia is really bad at taking a stance, which is why articles that rely solely on opinions, such as controversy, ignores rational points of view in favour of showcasing the blandest ones. If you get published by a reliable source, then you're in, no matter how stupid you are. I especially like the article's link to a Wired article, with the quote "Experts are scum", which is something I'd like to use in the future, though probably won't due to already having a large backlog of quotes, much like the Wikimedia backlog of cocks.

RATTLING Fuck you to the Google Forced and Unpaid Labour RECAPTCHA, for now being literally non-functional, making me fill out a security challenge which either fails to load, causes me to complete a challenge an arbitrary amount of times, or completes a challenge and then makes me paste a confirmation code that doesn't give me access to the website. All of this is supported by Cloudflare, who has decided, in the typical genius of Web-based startups, to censor content for Tor users despite there being no evidence that Tor users are more malicious than regular ones. The web page then has the balls to suggest that I have malware on my machine. Fuck you, Cloudflare. We both know why you're blocking me - it's because you hate me for trying to have some decent fucking privacy. The same for the other thousands of people you decide to fuck over by allowing this shittery to happen. I will continue to bitch about both Google and Cloudflare until you stop hiding massive portions of the Web - which will be around the same time God comes out of the clouds and cures AIDS, E.G. a fucking pipe dream.

§ October 01, 2016

AHHHHH Big ups to GraphicsGale, its charmingly bad English masking what is a very competent and unobfusciated pixel art program, making it an ideal starting point for anybody who wants to learn pixel art. Granted, you'll typically see more complex works that isn't being featured on the BUAFYs, or my favicon, though it's very likely that it will be somebody else making this work, with a bigger canvas, and that somebody else isn't likely to be you. I'm not bad at art... society is. It also has that charming Japanese quality of saying "fuck you" to the user and only offering a proprietary Windows-only download, because imagination is as foreign to Japanese business as white people. I'm not racist... Japan is. No, this isn't some preclude to my thirty-day trial of doing art challenges and seeing what shit stinks. Such a thing doesn't exist! It is however, a preclude to getting rid off all the emoji and adding in my own, serving the dual purpose of saving precious bytes that will be used to write rap lyrics with, and stopping the copyright vultures from coming down and fucking my shit up. Please enjoy these spooky ghosts, and anybody who says it's from Undertale is getting a beating.

RATTLING Fuck you to the Windows disk management program, for deciding that four hundred gigabytes of space isn't worthy of being partitioned, instead choosing to move 1% of that data, which isn't even enough for Linux Mint, or the first season of Haruhi. I'm blaming Windows here, but it's the same thing with all partitioning programs - whatever dark magic that SSDs run off of, it's fucking up the system. You would think that, in a perfect world, a hard disk and a solid state drive would be functionally the same to the end-user as the operating system takes care of the hard stuff for them, but it turns out that operating systems are hard, especially in an industry with more arbitrary standards than an abusive parent. And about Linux Mint, it turns out that my previous complaint about installation being arcane turned out to be pretty simple, so long as you read a 500 word document with pictures, and then print it out while you're installing. It's just like the glory days of Linux: 1% typing, 99% reading manuals.

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Today's page was updated on November 2, 2016!

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