Big Ups and Fuck Yous - May 2016
It's not a phase, mom.
Nothing! BUAFY June 2016
§ May 31, 2016
Big ups to the video game emulation community for wanting to develop ways for future generations to play video games the exact same way that we can play them today by taking the power out of the hands of companies and into the people who actually care about gaming - the developers and users who want to see games grow and evolve and be even better than they were when they were released. It's a special type of community that has the ambition to go to war with the entire gaming industry for the sake of making gamers have the freedom to whatever they want with their games despite all of the arbitrary restrictions and copyright that companies place on their consoles. Kids fifty years into the future are going to be able to play video games just like we did (note: REALLY good article), because when all the hardware in the world collapses, we'll have our software to back it up. So if you want to partake in the fruits of their labour, check out some emulators like Dolphin and Desmume, and you can find a bunch of games on the Pirate Bay and Emuparadise. It's a brand new, free world, and I won't stand to have our liberty taken away from us.
Fuck you in a related way to Citra, the emulation project that doesn't support piracy. Let me repeat that. You're making a device that lets anybody in the world, for any reason, play any game from the 3DS for free without regard for id, income, location, or legal status of video games, and you want to stop people from being to have the freedom they need to be able to experience new forms of art and culture? Fuck you. Fuck you and your naivety that you can make people stop wanting to download and play video games just because you say so. Fuck your idealist attitude that everybody can afford to have the same entertainment privileges as you. Fuck you for scaring away potential new developers with your attitude that "if you can't afford to buy games, don't come here". Fuck you for sucking Nintendo's dislocated cock and not standing up for yourself, even though emulations have been sold commercially and the courts were completely on their side. Your developers are pussies, and I hope that an alternative comes along that actually respects its users and wants to contribute to society.
§ May 30, 2016
Big ups to Wikipedia. Sometimes you have to go with an obvious choice. Knowledge for free, forever? What a big goal, and you made it happen. Every single one of you who contributes to the encyclopedia, and those of which who try to solve its many bureaucratic problems? Thanks for giving back to the world.
Fuck you to our arbitrary copyright laws. Yeah, big subject for a callout, isn't it? Despite the fact that copyright was originally designed as a way to protect artists by having the government give them a temporary monopoly, it has instead, thanks to the efforts of years of lobbying (read, bribery), turned into a bloated monster that went from a reasonable fourteen years, to the entire lifetime of the author plus seventy years - and in some cases such as Mexico, life plus one hundred. It has gone from a tool to allow artists to express themselves without interference from third parties into a corporate weapon that allows multi-billion dollar companies to put a stranglehold on property that have acquired, snuff out free speech by preventing other users from making derivative works, and destroying culture by spreading iconic mascots, such as those of Disney and Nintendo, and then taking away from the very culture they enhanced by placing restrictions on how they can be used. Fair use isn't a good enough compromise. The only way to solve this mess is to reduce the power of copyright so that it benefits the people and not corporations, or abolish it outright, as I am afraid to think about how much of our culture we're losing by not letting our children benefit from what we have created now.
§ May 29, 2016
Big ups to Richard Stallman's website, as I have spent much of today thinking about the topics that his website have linked to, such as police brutality, the cost of the War on Terrorism, online privacy, the environment, and companies continuing to do shitty things for the sake of (you know what). It takes a lot of effort to get a man to think about the way the world is going, and Stallman manages to do that with nothing more than a series of links and a quick opinion. Also, the whole "changed the Internet forever and for the better" thing. If you haven't already bookmarked stallman.org, try it out. And not the unrelated rms.org, which is probably a trojan horse.
Fuck you to Tumblr for wasting four years of my god damn life with drama that didn't change a single thing about the world, or even your website, and for manipulating me into thinking that popularity was a virtue as opposed to a liability. It took me years to realise that signing up for a service that only provides good things to you 10% of the time isn't worth spending 80% of your life on, and that filling the 90% with events that amount to a fart in the wind, such as "tastefully offensive" pictures of dogs jumping on a trampoline, "deep quotes" that are decontextualised to the point of meaninglessness, and "soft grunge" which amounts to black and white .gifs of hardcore porn, makes you a worse human being by distracting you from the real emotional labour of hard work in exchange for temporary bursts of cheap thrill. What a worthless website full of stupid people and bitches. Any artists on there should jump ship and find a better platform.
§ May 28, 2016
Big ups to the Internet is Beautiful subreddit for being one of the few good uses of the cancerous hate-ridden inconsistent SJW circlejerking corporate-dick-sucking shithole that is Reddit. How do you fuck up a website that badly that you can have so many contradictory labels applied to it, and have every single label be true in some fashion? Fuck Reddit. But in the toilet of the Internet, there's still some diamonds, and a subreddit devoted to websites that are artistic, educational, and just plain useful? That's an idea worth spreading. Get out of the bad side of town, kid. Make your own city, along with Morbid Questions and r/yiff (tip: it's porn).
Fuck you to every website that disrespects its users privacy by planting trackers in their computers. I don't give a single fuck about your statistics or your network optimisiations - if your website was a success, people would talk about it, and you would know. If your website was broken, you would know because somebody would either tell you, or you would visit the website and find out for yourself. The only reason that you could have to track your users is to sell their data to companies so you can turn a quick dollar before your website fades into the Eternal Void. Looking at you, Vectorizer. FOAD you selfish cunts, along with Urban Dictionary and the rest.
§ May 27, 2016
Big ups to Art of Manliness for releasing a ton of articles about how to stop being a pussy and get your life back on track. The depth of knowledge in this website is as deep as a fifty-year-old whore, in mind and not pussy. Among all the useless crap like learning how to fire a bow (use a gun, dumbass), you learn things like how to manipulate people's emotions, seem more powerful and charismatic, how to avoid getting shot, how to keep your health and body in order, and how to be healthier and more confident all around. It's like Kanye said: "I said some things she don't need to know", except the opposite.
Fuck you to computer vendors who install their closed-source crapware on my prebuilts. Are you so desperate to try to make a sale in an oversaturated market that you have to bundle your computers with a shittier version of Bitlocker (which is itself extraodinarily shitty) and fifteen different tools that I will never use in my life? Or is this part of a spying program so that you can further drive the price of my data down, as part of a socialist Robin Hood scheme? Or more likely sell it to scumsuckers. I can't wait to nuke your shit off my drive and replace it with Ubuntu, you patronising normies.
§ May 26, 2016
Big ups to Emojipedia for having the patience and the drive to document. I'm not even ironically bringing up this emoji thing as a dank meme to get more Google hits. I'm bringing it up because there's something fascinating about having a set of symbols that can be interpreted so widely and used for so many functions while still being creative in how they are used. This big up goes out to my math teacher who said nobody would need to use a smug cat, but here we are.
Fuck you to Habitica for having a really cool and innovative life-control app, but then ruining it all by letting Big Data play with your asshole and sell out your users for profit. The only reason you would ever need to collect and retain that much data on your users is to profile them and sell the profiles to data collection agencies, who will then sell it to anybody who asks. That's a real fucking shame that the desire for money ruins the desire to make people be the best people they can be without having to fear putting in any information into their services that will be passed around and sold by heartless sons of bitches like you. I'm disappointed. Grim fucking fable right there.
§ May 25, 2016
Big ups to all the artists who put a lot of time into their eyes. Not their own, but that of their characters. There are few things so precious to me as seeing someone whose eyes have within them all the wonder of the world, with eyes that speak sadness and eyes that speak joy. Eyes that speak the universal language of emotion. It's not my fetish, but it's one of my favourite subjects. Imagine being able to talk about your entire life experience without needing to say anything.
Fuck you to every censorship committee in the world. That includes the MPAA, the ESRB, and the RIAA, and app store censors - groups of ignorant people who pretend to have our best interests at hand but snuff out artistic merit on a daily basis. They're the culture killers - they demand that you change your work to fit their arbitrary and undefined standards, giving you unfavourable ratings if they piss you off, expecting you to conform or be kicked from their platform, especially when they have a monopoly on the industry they represent. Never stoop to their level by accepting their terms - release your art unfiltered and uncensored, and give a Trudeau Salute to everyone who wants to destroy it.
§ May 24, 2016
Big ups to for skullfucking me so efficiently with its nostalgic rose-tinted form of ecstasy. Sites like these remind me of a Web that's long gone yet still hanging from it's skin, a time where sites were sincere and not professional. A time back when you could say some shit and collaborate with some sinners who share your point of view. A time of web rings and community, not of corporations. It's beautiful, baby. Absolutely beautiful. I got no fan art for you, but take my appreciation instead.
Fuck you to Google for making me get an account from them to use the Play Store, so they can mine my download history and sell it to advertisers because they aren't already raking in buckets of cash from their software monopoly. I hope you greedy fucks appreciate all the info Dese Nuts is giving you, including the massive amounts of hentai I plugged into Google Drive just to fuck with your trackers. Did you know Google spies on your Gmail communications? They do the same thing for everything, because it's profitable to them. Fuck Google, and if you have an account, burn it and transfer that shit to Dese Nuts Jr.
§ May 23, 2016
Big ups to NordVPN's customer service for answering my question in under a minute. Do you know why I never, ever bother with talking to companies? They're so slow that they disrespect my time and sap the life from my very bones. And if they don't fix your problem, it's like snapping your femur to get more leg muscle. I'm not breaking this leg, you SCP looking ass motherfuckers.
Fuck you to everyone who doesn't learn their geography. I'm not some anally repentant socials teacher who insists you learn every country's flag and their relative geolocations, but for fuck's sakes, Holland is a province, not a country. I met this guy from Denmark, and he said he was from the Netherlands. How the - it's right there mate! Did you think I was so ignorant that I didn't know Denmark existed? Do you ignorant sons of bitches even know about Namibia? How do you lose a whole country like that?
§ May 22, 2016:
Big ups to all my pals who upload movies, music, and TV shows to YouTube. Fuck YouTube's broken-ass copyright system. Fuck everybody who spreads art into the world and wants to restrict how it's used. But you pals - you who ignore all that bullshit and spread the good word to the world for free? You're the real artists here. Bless you for life, mates.
Special fuck you to #DRAMAALERT for being the TMZ of YouTube, posting unverified accusations about other YouTubers in the community, not only feasting off the lowest-common-demoninator idea of drama, but creating it in order to further your subscriber count while pretending you're making legitimate news. You're the online equivalent of the grocery store tabloid, only smug that I can't wipe my shit with you.
§ May 21, 2016
Big ups to Lil Wayne for joining my list of "profoundly stupid" men, along with Hideo Kojima and Diogenes of Sinope. "Black and white diamonds, fuck segregation". Jesus Christ, he's the Nietzsche of hip-hop.
Fuck you to everybody who uses Cloudflare. One, if you're not Furaffinity, you're not important enough to get DDOS'd. Wasting five seconds of thousands of users' days because of your faulty beliefs in web security is selfish. Two, making me fill in three captchas because I'm on Tor, all from Google, you ironic cunts, is a waste of my time. CTRL+W and you're out of my life forever. See you later, asshole.
§ May 20, 2016
Big ups to Samsung for having the best emoji out of all the providers. Step it up, Microsoft. Seriously mate, "nails" doesn't mean a fucking nail bottle. It means nails, as a subtler version of "stop talking to me, scum". 💅
Fuck you to YouTube for shilling YouTube Red to me. You harvest my data, censor your users to appease corporate interests, and enforce your own rules on an arbitrary and automated basis, and you expect me to pay ninety-nine cents for the privilege? They made you a bitch, and they're cashing out the whores.
Nothing! BUAFY June 2016
May 2016 (we're here already!)
Cutie-pie cat frog - Froghand.
Today's page was updated on July 12, 2016!
Maybe... you'll, think, of me...