Big Ups and Fuck Yous - July 2016
The summer of [current year].
June 2016 BUAFY August 2016
§ July 31, 2016
Big ups to Brain Age 2 for getting me interesting in being a more focused person. Now you might be thinking (and you think a fuckin' lot), isn't this brain training meme a bit of a meme? Perhaps, yes, as there's no conclusive evidence as to its effectiveness. I should say though that the results I get with Tohoku University Future Technology Research Center Professor and Supervisor Ryuta Kawashima's More Train Your Brain DS Training For Adults (Jesus Christ Japan) are showing a consistent improvement with the results for [fucking long title], so I guess brain training gives you more improvement with brain training. It's strange though, that ever since I started playing it, I felt more able to concentrate on petty things like writing, so is it doing something right? Well, it's still entertaining if it isn't, even though sudoku is one of the most boring games ever devised by humans (after tennis).
§ July 30, 2016
Big ups to 4chans /a/ Daily Japanese Thread, which I won't link because there's a new thread every single day and it'll be deleted and replaced with the same year that Johan van Oldenbarnevelt was executed. Okay, fuck, I get it, I'm cribbing heavy on the weeb shit, giving the Chans a little handy, I get it. I'm in a backlog, you see, and I'm focusing on clearing it out so that I may focus my life on other topics. As for that who isn't me (and aren't we all aren't me?), the /a/ board is full of what you would expect of eight minus fourchan - generic cute girls spiced in with shitposting. The hedonisic zeitgeist of the 2015's... it's hard to think of a better time to be on the Web, except for 2007. That was a chill year. So these trashmen are what you would expect out of Halfchan, right? Dumbasses jacking and typing and spreading dank memes? Well, they have a Japanese learning thread, which has a great deal of resources, programs, recommended watching, what have you, so that you can further your obsession with anime and be one of the cool kids crew. The cream rises to the top, fellas. Don't think so poorly of √(−42)chan
Fuck you to the complete disdain for audio mixing that some producers have for their albums. The problem is simple, as is the solution. A song is too quiet, you turn up the volume, it ends, and dubstep blows your ear. I mean blows up your ear. The reason I'm telling these producers to fuck their fannies is that going from a song as quiet as your fanny to one that's as loud as you is like rubbing your fingers while touching your ear lobe right before a gong gets shot with a sniper rifle - and you're in the gong. If you must make a song (if a sniper rifle was to your head, for instance), please ensure it's at an acceptable volume. You may have a whisper fetish, but it's like a diaper fetish. Put it away for the sake of others!
§ July 29, 2016
Big ups to nyaa.se for providing what is a ludicrous amount of options for downloading the newest and greatest anime / anime-related inspecific particulars. They foiled my uBlock software by advertising with J-list, a company now reaching Evony-levels of shady, which is famous for having Japanese personal lubricant from Japan, as opposed to Quebec. I wouldn't even use that lube for my car, let alone my asshole (note: still looking for a one-syllable synonym for anus). That's fucking incredible to me, how they assume I'd get laid after watching Monster Musume, let alone after having "Tentacle Grape" in my fridge. I'm paranoid of those onaholes they advertise, as a sex toy with a name that sounds like an RPG boss can't be good. If you stick your dick it it, does currency pop out? It got a shout-out in Corruption of Champions, so is it only safe for dog-men with two thirty-meter cocks and eggs in his snatch? "Froge you faggot," and how the fuck did you get in here again, "Wasn't this about nyaa.se?" Well yes you twat, it's an anime torrent website. It works. It has great advertisements. It's the go-to place to download anything Japanese. Like, a fucking weeb like you already knew that, and you want me to explain it to you? Get off my onahole.
Fuck you to programs which leave behind their junk on my PC after they uninstall. You know that feel (we all know that feel. always. forever) when you're poking around your apps list and there's a shit-ton of folders and unused shortcuts? And then you nuke it with Bleachbit and CCleaner or something and you notice that it left behind evidence of its user everywhere on your PC for cops to get? That's a security risk and a biohazard - it makes my heart shrink a little every time I see that happen. It's like the programmers didn't even care about their work enough to make sure it didn't clean up after itself. Would you let a dog shit on the rug? Would you let that shit sit there? Would you? Clean up your programs, please...
§ July 28, 2016
Big ups to the Install Gentoo Wiki, which has absolutely nothing to do with installing Gentoo, for being my go-to Wiki for anything tech and security related. "Well wait you degenerate cunt," you say because you realised your son hates your guts and you have to spread the bitterness to everybody you meet, "isn't a wiki built by random 4channers a dangerous place to get information?" Yes. But by sheer coincidence, all of the information can be verified by secondary sources! It's almost like those random 4channers were making a legitimate resource, but that's fucking impossible! Anyway, if you ever need steps on how to hide your identity, be anonymous, choose the right browser extensions, choose a good Linux distribution, look up shitty /g/ memes, teach yourself programming, learn about cyberpunk, or get recommendations for headphones/mice/keyboards/vape, then hop on over to the
Froghand Blog Install Gentoo Wiki. Also, it's public domain, so feel free to copy and paste from my blog the wiki.
Fuck you to Pixeljoint for rejecting my frog avatar. Yes, I'm salty about that. It was a cute frog! It was a lady with pastel colours and soft borders and a background and everything! It was dead simple making, with a slim face and eyes that could kill and every element reduced to the point where there was nothing else to distract you from it, but it was still immediately recognisable as a frog, and you still rejected it. Did I not live up to your arbitrary standards? Was my frog so refined in its grace that you decided not to upload it to your gallery, lest some complete noob look at it and think "I could make that! Time to art!"? Or were you implying that my artistic skills were so piss-poor that it didn't deserve to be on there? It's your fucking loss, then - look at my favicon. You just can't find quality like me...
§ July 27, 2016
Big ups to the 3DS Homebrew Hackers, which is an arbitrary name, but a descriptive one, for giving me the ability to turn the 3DS into a machine of unholy wonders. How else could you turn a 3DS into an FTP server with a horse staring at you? Who bypasses the e-shop and lets you emulate Game Boy games on its great-great-grandchild? And what about the SNES and NES emulators, letting you play Super Mario All-Stars on a system that has absolutely no business, or moral standing, to run such games on it? Which system lets you play fucking Portal on it? It's incredible to me - to be able to use a gaming system for actually playing games without needing to suck the dick of its creators, bypassing the arbitrary restrictions placed by Nintendo and using the device for all its worth. I won't leave you in the dark; to bust open a 3DS, check out Smealum's guide, and for apps, look at the 3Dbrew Wiki.
Fuck you to advertising, in all it's obtrusiveness, in all its manipulation. Wikipedia says that advertising isn't evil, though it's annoying as all fuck when you turn on a radio and have to listen to four minutes worth of white people whoring themselves out for car insurance before you get some actual music. The effects of advertising on our culture are too long to go into, and I don't feel like lowering my quality to Bill Hicks level, so I will say that I am happy that it is now at a point where any savvy person can remove it from their life through the proper programs and browser extensions, and that never having to see an actor's fake smile brings me a good deal of satisfaction. Seeing people fake happiness, disgusts me.
§ July 26, 2016
Big ups to Know your Meme, because while it is a waste of time, it does have a few uses going for it, a bit like the Reddit toilet. I did tell it to fuck off, previously (I hope Goat-tan forgives me), though that was more of a double-edged sword than a legitimate declaration of hate, even with never getting any mail to know if I'm pissing people off. While it is used as a cheap thrill to look up the greatest and latest memes (until they disappear in three days), it's also a great place for finding a shit-ton of media regarding them, what with the extensive and well-moderated image and video galleries, a search engine that makes Google look like shit, and a comments section which provides a lot of opportunities to cross-link memes together, all of which encourages you to devote your life to whatever fad crosses your way until it disappears. Its art galleries also extents to fandom-related art and LEWD pictures of furries, so it's a good place to go to if you want, like I said, cheap thrills. But don't get addicted to memes. That's worse than glue.
Fuck you to Gamasutra (and I am linking this time because it's a website that requires viewing) for taking all the joy of video games - the art, the music, the little feelings you get when you accomplish a silly little thing in a silly little simulation, the community of nerds, the ability to be somebody and be a part of a story that you never would outside of a gaem, the design that fills a gamer with smug glee whenever they figure out how to best it - and reducing it to a business. That's fucking sad. For every Doom that comes out, for every renegade video game that comes from a team of people who actually really fucking like games, for every Rareware, for every one-man developer powerhouse that creates Cave Story and Dust: An Elysian Tail, you have a hundred more cementing gaming's reputation as one of the worst industries to get into. No artist would consider reading such thrilling articles as "Disney Magic Kingdoms - Game Design Analysis" or "Optimizing the Unreal Engine 4 renderer for The Vanishing of Ethan Carter VR". Think of this this way - you know how English class taught you to never read another book again? Gamasutra is encouraging people to never make games again.
§ July 25, 2016
Big ups to this interactive, music-based graph of Billboard hits throughout hip-hop. Beyond the inheriant interest in seeing rappers like Ghostface Killah losing a popularity contest to such legendary artists like Lil Bow Wow and Silkk the Shocker, there is also the secondary interest of seeing how hip-hop, or at least a glim snippet of it, has evolved from its roots in the clip of the 80's all the way to 2015. What you probably want to know: was it better back then? In most cases (as with most everything), it was still shit, with the present-day tunes being slightly better due to having better production yet the same banal lyrics and concepts that plagued the genre back then (bitches are a cultural universal). As a historical reference, you can see how the genre evolved from being about rebellion and tributes to homies, to the popular scene where everybody talked about getting laid because people need reassurance that sex is more important than life goals, to the phase where everybody doubled-down in their respective niches and either ripped off Jay-Z or Eminem respectively, to the dance hits where everybody got a laptop and was figuring out what to do with them, to the Kanye era, and to the present-day where artists are trying to figure out what the fuck to do with themselves and end up throwing shit at the wall and figuring out what works. I prefer the 80's myself. Hearing Flava Flav rant about racism is more interesting than hearing Puff Daddy rant about his dick.
Fuck you to the United States for taking down Kickass Torrents, which is a crime against the Web so evident that I barely need to explain it. Consider the following: a site that complies with your laws explicitly, especially the DMCA, is sill considered illegal? The message has been made clear: don't bother following the law, because you'll get fucked over anyway. Further consider that Homeland Security played a part in the server raid. Did they run out of terrorists to kill? Evidently not, seeing as they don't do anything about the ISIS-run websites on their soil, not that it would stop them from censoring a foreign work considering that the Kickass owner was fucking Ukranian, living in Poland, and is being extadated to the United States because sovereignity is a suggestion to that country, so long as it's a foreigner's freedom being taken away and not theirs, God forbid that they tarnish their spotless reputation. I guess you'll also be arresting members of your Navy for pirating software too? Does it not say in the Declaration of Independence, specifically referring to British tyranny, "He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good", and that to refuse to pass laws that benefit the public good, and to refuse to punish offenders under the laws they have created, is contrary to the principals of freedom? It's okay if you want to ignore the rags that your country is founded upon - to your people, it almost seems natural.
§ July 24, 2016
Big ups to 8chan's /rec/ board for providing me with a lot of understanding about the nature of anime, which is astounding for a website which lets you join ISIS (phrases which gets me me banned from Google). In particular I'm referring to the chart thread, because I learned a few things from these humble charts plastered on this sticky - for one, the chances of me (or even you!) watching all of these anime ranges from a probability of zero to NEET, due to the sheer scope of procution. Two, the diversity of Japanese animation is great to the point where a studio can create an anime about any topic - and often they do - leading to a system where you can find an anime that would appeal to anybody, with even John Cena watching Fist of the North Star. This is in stark contrast to Western animation, with a cultural attiude that considers animation not as serious of an art form as live-action ones, and so the opportunities for a studio to create something serious are very limited, and are always, with very few exceptions, required to feature comedy as its main focus, with whatever else it wants to feature as a secondary genre at best. And thirdly, that recommendation lists are mostly throwing titles at the wall and praying that one sticks to you, not taking into account any preferences, personality traits, or interests that you may have, with some exceptions, such as those which provide a short description of what to expect / what people think of the anime. I recommend perusing the lists, not to find your next big anime to watch (though you could roll dice on a chart if you're feeling lucky), but to instead be reminded of what you had an interesting in watching previously, never doing so because you forgot about it. My recommendation is either Nichijou for being the funniest series I've ever seen, Gregory Horror Show for building a world that doesn't leave you after you finish it, and Cowboy Bebop for being a great introduction to the style and themes of anime in general. Yes, they're gateway choices, but when you consider that "entry-level" is only used by assholes who want to feel superior to you, you forget why they're entry-level in the first place. Namely, they're really fucking good, and can be appreciated by anybody.
Fuck you to booru uploaders who fail to tag their pictures. Mates, I appreciate the content. If you weren't up there, uploading, we wouldn't have anything to jack off to. Even if ninety-nine point ninety-nine percent of it is crap (and it is crap), I will praise you for uploading all of that ninety-nine percent, because even if they aren't to my taste, the unsophisticated cum machines will still appreciate it. But you see, we have a universal tagging system for two reasons: to find content we like, and to remove content we dislike. If you fail to tag your works, then the entire system becomes an anarchy where people are constantly exposed to boner killers, and where people trying to get a boner can't find their favourite fetishes. Tagging your works is a benefit to everybody involved in the pornographic ecosystem, and failing to do so threatens to tear apart its stability. Note to prudes: please get laid.
§ July 23, 2016
Big ups to Seth Godin's blog! It doesn't work on Tor! It's not HTTPS. I'll guess I'll go fuck myself then. But if you have the audacity to use a regular web browser to access it, you'll find that he teaches you how to direct your ambitions to places where you never knew. He'll comfort you with logic and not false senses of achievement, like my masturbatory fantasies where I'm praised for being fucking awful at aweful fucking. Here's my ace: he inspired me to make this blog, after teaching me that there's going to be somebody like me who is going to read it, and if I have the great fortune to have met somebody like me, then it will have made the entire endeavour worth it. The same as if you create something on the Web and you meet somebody like you, then it will be worth your endeavour, too. And as to how it'll get popular? Well, he teaches that, too.
Fuck you to MakeMKV for taking what could be a really good piece of software - a dead-simple way to rip lossless video from any source - and decided to fuck the whole project by charging for it. Well, that's what we get with closed-source; if you're not confident enough in your ability to sell without having other people copy you, then your product isn't worthy enough to be bought, and not worthy enough to be copied. But if you insist on making sales instead of showing some altruism and giving back to the very same Web which made you, then you've done it in the worst possible way you could. If you ever put a time trial on your software without telling me, up-front, in the most obvious way possible, then I am going to be right pissed when I find it suddenly stops working. That's DRM - plain and simple, and you've ensured that I won't be paying for any of your products any time soon.
§ July 22, 2016
Big ups to Notepad++ for being Notepad but better, not that it put up much of a fight. Notepad is the barebones text editor included in every installation of Windows, thus ensuring its complete monopoly over the text editor wars (this sounds stupid, but Google is trying to do the same thing with fonts). It's free, it loads fast, and it pretty much works. Now imagine if I could give you a straight upgrade from that, and pitch it like a shitty web blogger trying to sell you my self-published self-help books on Amazon. Well, fuck it. You can turn it black, use tabs, launch it in an instant, and type up any old brain without pain, unlike Libreoffice, which had to sacrifice a chicken before it got past the splash screen. This isn't true now, but in 2011? Those times were scaaaaary.
§ July 21, 2016
Big ups to the Westword 50 Best Rap Lyrics - a thoughtful infographic that provides justification for the existence of a genre which is now rivaling country in obnoxiousness. Two disses in one, that's why I'm in the big bucks. While Hip-hop is the new pop (foursome), there are still extraordinary messages in the medium of rap, and to hear them expressed to music is like being Brian Wilson in a piece-of-shit car listening to "Be My Baby" and then having your mind blown asunder, reborn, like a pile of meat out the cunt. I can't add anything else to what is already expresed in the list, but if you listen to the videos and don't feel like you're witnessing a zeitgeist, I can't add anything else to your ignorance. And because you all like negativity, they have a list of the fifty worst rap lyrics, unfortunately paired with some decent songs, but we aren't all perfect.
Fuck you to Norton Antivirus for - well, I don't really need to give any reasons if you've spent any amount of time reading about it. Let me explain; it's a bit like your mother who makes you wash your hands every ten minutes because she's afraid you'll get herpes or some other thing five-year-olds get. It's like wearing two condoms while fucking and having the friction remove them both from this mortal coil, like you deleted a layer in Gimp. It's a bit like a sloppy cardboard box that you know that somebody is going to live in because they have no other choice, but you can't help but tip it over because it's so sad and pathetic that spitting on it would cause it to flatten. Also, they worked with the FBI to allow keyloggers on your machine. An antivirus that doesn't prevent viruses? What's next, a website editor that won't let you edit - oh, wait.
§ July 20, 2016
Big ups to osu!, a freeware game released by some Australian weeb. Fuck, I sound like Wikipedia when I write this. "You dumbass", you say while getting the succ in a bathroom stall, looking over my blog because it turms you on more than you could ever be turned on by a whore whose name you don't even know, "Wikipedia doesn't sound like that". Thanks Jimbo. I'll be sure to bring that up at the next staff meeting. Osu! (exclamation point because it's fun, and fun is mandatory), is a rhythm game where you pretend to play a piano to your favourite songs (so long as it's Buddy Holly from Weezer), and that's it. It has one of the best user interfaces I have ever seen, will run on your grandma's PC, and is incredibly fun due to being 100% skill-based and with no bullshit involved. Also there's an arthritis simulator where you smash the mouse button twelve times per second in order to press cotton candy dots, but only nerds talk about that.
Fuck you to Tumblr for making me fill out a Google Forced and Unpaid Labour CAPTCHA whenever I send somebody an anonymous ask, and then not even sending the fucking message afterwards. What is it about your website that captivates all its users while at the same time having a nortoriety for not giving a single fuck about them? Is it because your website is the most barely functional American microblogging site out there, and so is the most popular due to being there first? Oh wait, that's exactly what happened, because otherwise you'd let me send nice messages to your users without treating me like a fucking criminal and rejecting it if a single one of your arbitrary and poorly-defined spam filters raises a red flag. I guess frogfucker won't get their compliment today, because you won't let it happen. Also a fuck you to Tumblr in general, whose front page is a special type of cancer that you can only experience by signing up for the "service", in quotes so scared that they ran away. The quote you see are their replacements, who had the courage to not kill themselves after looking at Tumblr, which is a regular part of their business model.
§ July 19, 2016
Two days without updating a website is for shitty webcomic artists, but not for me. I understand the importance of keeping a schedule, so when it gets broken at midnight by having the Neocities web editor be broken (at midnight), I get a little bit like you'd feel if you had soap in your pants and jiggled your twat. So there was nothing today, though I was fortunate enough (lucky really) to have it work for me today. July 19, 2016. This was the day it decided to work.
§ July 18, 2016
There were none on this date, because by the time I got to editing this website my eyes felt like bleeding. I decided, out of the options of keeping my eyes intact, or keeping my streak intact, I decided to say "fuck the streak" (overheard at a strip club) and cuddle my eyes instead (overheard at dark strip club.
§ July 17, 2016
Big ups to Digibros "How to Recognize a Terrible Anime (in just one episode)" video. I think this is the last video thumbnail I saw on YouTube before deciding to delete the application off my smart phone (which was one of the only reasons I had one, so I guess I'm on my way to being carefree again). It turns out, it wasn't clickbait at all, and was actually a very interesting discussion about the importance of having a strong hook to draw in your viewers, and the contrast between the signs of a good piece of anime, and a bad one, spilling into general tips for all the arts. While it focused on two specific examples, the analysis was interesting enough - and the breadth of auxillary examples have made me felt more interest in anime than I ever have before (except for when I was nine). Please note, that even though YouTube has some gems, the vast majority of content is cancerous, and so you shouldn't play garbage man trying to cleave through the garbage. Yes, that's the home page. You don't need to look far.
Fuck you to the concept of Web comments. Rather than go into Discourse (trademarked) about the intricacies of media culture, the prioritisation of popular opinion over substantial content, the confirmation bias that results out of it, the moral considerations of free speech, the appeal of easily-digestible comments as opposed to challenging ones, and the potential to just plain bully people who you don't like... I will say that the biggest failing of the comment system is that it assumes that everybody has the same weight of opinion as everybody else, on any subject, at any time. The simple matter is that not everybody deserves to be heard out, because not everybody has the intelligence, maturity, and writing ability to come at a topic and give an honest, well-thought-out opinion. To claim that everybody does, and to give everybody the freedom to comment on whatever they want, creates cesspools like YouTube and Reddit where culture goes to die. If Wikipedia was an anarchy, and gave everybody the freedom to say whatever the hell they wanted, it would have immediately failed. The solution was a rigorous set of rules and conditions, very similar to the rules and conditions of the publishing companies of old, that is decided by the community - one that is not interested in recruiting new members, but maintains some of the Web's highest-quality content because of this, and the inability to say whatever you like is a fair trade off to all but the most psychopathic of users.
§ July 16, 2016
Big ups to Reggie Watts, for having developed two different songs which have been stuck in my head for the past few times - and actually enjoying them when they are. The first one is "Fuck Shit Stack", which 2011 bronies may remember as the song that Fluttershy busted a fat rap to. It made sense back then, but we were probably all high, so fug :DD. The song is a satire of idiot rappers who rap about status and objects as opposed to anything of substance, which is why the song is gramatically correct nonsense backed up with lyrics about what rappers are actually saying about themselves (shit motherfucker ass tits cunt cock motherfucker shit ass tits motherfucker shit). The second song is "If You're Fucking, You're Fucking", which answers the long-asked question of whether or not we're fucking, because if you're fucking, then you're probably fucking. The snake eats its tail, and the koan is born. Is it satirical? What is the sound of irony descending a staircase?
Note from 2016-07-31: Web of Trust tracks your browsing activity in great detail. For more information, see Section #31.
§ July 15, 2016
Big ups to our favourite little web archiver (when did it become uncool to call programs "little"?), archive.is! As opposed to our favourite big archive, Internet Archive, archive.is (formerly archive.today - I guess they felt it was too demanding) is the easiest gateway to preserving content. It loads up fast, is available for everybody to use without making an account, lets you use a little bookmark to automatically check if a page is archived (and to archive it if that is not the case), and makes it easy to post to websites without without giving the webmaster any page views - so stop begging for views, or you'll get the hitless treatment! But, as opposed to the great big Internet Archive, archive.is is privately funded, and so can't be seriously considered an archive for the ages. So only use it when linking to blogs like this one, okay?
Fuck you to Peerblock for only allowing users to update their blocklists if they have a subscription to their service. I did recommend it, and I will recommend it, as it comes pre-loaded with IPs and blocks 69% of malicious users. That said, if you are releasing a service that protects people from discrimnation against copyright vultures by blocking their IP addresses, then why are you discriminating against them by making them constantly insecure until they cough up some dough and buy into your program? Perhaps this is the fault of your service provider, I-Blocklist, in which case, fuck them too. It's selfish to me, simply, to monetise a service that could protect the privacy and the livelihoods of so many people, and yet have their privacy yanked away from them because you want to profit off of them. If you wanted to make money, I would suggest doing so in a way that doesn't play Russian Roulette with your users.
§ July 14, 2016
Big ups to the Art of Manliness 100 Must Read Books for Men (and I must apologise to my substantial female audience) for providing me with a great list of great books that will make me greater than I already am. Is that it? Is that the entire shout-out? No, of course not. Because you see, the constant thread that stabs every great man in history is that they read. They read a lot, and they read books from a lot of subjects. While no book list can claim to give you a grasp of every possible subject matter, many of them can educate you about the topics which are most important to being a culturally relevant person. There are two book lists I trust for this purpose: the Art of Manliness list, and the Great Books of the Western World list, as bought by my great-grandfather. I can understand not liking certain mediums, such as film and such, though when you consider that reading is one of the most important skills that anybody can ever have (only second to cuddling), I can't respect you if you fail to do it.
Fuck you to sites which make me sign in to an account to download their content. These include torrent sites, video game cheat forums, and book depositories. If you're trying to get me to revisit your site, then you're doing it in one of the most hamfisted ways I can imagine. The way you gain fans is by providing quality content relevent to your audience on a consistent basis, as pain-free as possible. Making me sign up to download a torrent file that may not even work will not make me want to visit your website. What will is allowing me to have content that works without hassle, and that excludes the hassle of making me waste minutes of my life signing up for your shitty service. If you make me, then I will never use the account again, or never visit your site again.
§ July 13, 2016
Big ups to my local library for providing what is really an unobtrusive way to get media at the highest quality, whether its books, movies, or whatever have you, as opposed to trusting a random rip online that eats up your data cap. Going to a library and ripping the content straight to your PC allows you to have physical-media quality content without trusting an intermediary, and though there are a great deal of OPSEC concerns (such as not checking out too many at once, not acting suspicious, not breaking the fucking disks). And for the moralfags who think that it's "stealing" from a public library, think of it this way: they stood to make no profit off the materials when it was checked out, and now that I have a copy (having conveniently not stolen the media), they can do whatever they want with their physical media while I can do what I want with my digital media. It's the same freedom of information that made libraries common in the first place. To argue against piracy is to argue against libraries.
Fuck you to websites which deliberately obfusciate their code. Obfusciation is making it harder to read - for instance, this example if it were all on one line, though as it stands it technically qualifies as net art. Obfusciation is basically saying "fuck you got mine". It stope other people from reading your code, and if they can't read it, they can't edit it, implement it, or even understand it. It's supposed to stop code "thieves" (data is not property - copying is never theft), but all it does it piss legitimate developers off by making it harder for them to learn from websites they like. Anybody who deliberately makes their code shitty is themselves a selfish, shitty person. Anybody who unintentionally makes their code shitty is a trash baby and should be nurtured as such.
§ July 12, 2016
Big ups to the W3Schools CSS reference for providing indispensable whenever I fuck around with my website's layout (it hasn't happened yet, but it will, ooh~!). This is what a reference should be - simple, descriptive, examples for everything, and geared towards assuming you're a complete dumbass that can't code on their life. That sounds patronising, but what's the alternative? Assuming you know too much? Read the Wikipedia article for electric field. This isn't a case of me being an idiot and assuming something simple is complicated - this is a case of something innately complicated failing to be understood by the layman (it's me! I'm the layman!). W3Schools does it right. The information is categorised sensibly, there are descriptions for each item so you don't waste time poking around, every item page has an example so you know what it does and how to implement it, the information is as sparse possible without having unecessary text (don't look at me - I'm an entertainer), and the site design is such so you don't feel hopelessly overwhelmed the instant you look at it. It's a model for all educational sites, and educators should use it as a writing inspiration. But it doesn't have swear words, so I'm not fucking with it.
§ July 11, 2016
Big ups to Flammenwerfer and their My Little Pony World War II Nazi fanfiction, "Parallels". Whenever I find myself in a bit self-conscious about my writing, I go onto Fimfiction and tear apart new fanfiction to make myself feel better, learning from their mistakes so I don't make them. But fuck me if I'm an expert on horse Nazis (try to fit that into a conversation), so my opinion may be tainted by my lack of experience in this particular field (tip: you can use this excuse for pretty much everything), but I found it to be the least shitty story. That's not damning by faint praise, E.G. not having the balls to say what you mean and having to dress it up. I'm saying that it's actually a really good story for its brevity. You have a human Colonel striking a military deal with a Nazi horse, and that's the entire plot, a bit like how Catcher in the Rye was about some twat bumming around in New York for a week. But the way its written is inspiring, being sparse when details don't matter, and having a tone that tells you about the world without being dull. And the world is fleshed out, despite only being a few thousand words long, meaning that it makes the most out of the minimal time it asks for. And the characters, even though I only see them for a few minutes, make a lasting impression with their personalities. The ability to take a concept that most people would laugh out of the gate and turn it into something great, giving me some food for thought about my own dickishness, is typical of all art that matters. I would like to see more. That way I can justify spending my time on a website which hosts "Twilight Sparkle Eats Exactly Two Bananas". No, I'm not going off the deep end. It's research, damn it!
Fuck you to online communities with really excessive amounts of rules and guidelines. I get it, they evolve out of years of decisions and experiences with bad apples. But for fucks sakes, if you see that you have a rulebook that you could spend a whole day on and still not understand everything its getting at, something seriously wrong happened between then and now. But worst of all would have to be the online Wikis - Wikipedia in particular. Tell me, have you read every single policy that Wikipedia defines as a rule? Have you read any of their rules at all? It's so dense and bureaucratic that understanding something as simple as its formatting policy is like training to become an engineer, or a barrister, or some other career which requires a focus on incredible stringent rules, like being a Wikipedia editor. There's no central book where I can take a look at all the rules, divided into sections with rules only relating to certain editors (administrators, image uploaders, and citation finders all have very different responsibilities), where I can read a short section and go "Okay, I'm ready to work". It just isn't there. If the first page, the very first thing, that a user sees when they go on the "Help" page is a 1000 word directory with over fifty links on it, you fucked up. You fucked up bad. No wonder their membership is declining - nobody wants to read through all this shit!
§ July 10, 2016
Big ups to Libreoffice for being a FLOSS office application in a world dominated by Microsoft Word (oh, the flashbacks!). When it comes down to the bare wire, there are few thins more unsung than a free office application, but then that's what most good things are - boring pieces of technology which do their work so well that nobody notices them until something goes wrong. The unfortunate thing about today's economy is that boring things almost never sell as well as the shitty ones that look pretty and impress the sheep. For proof, look at any Apple device. When was the last time you praised Notepad for doing its job well? And the last time you praised the file explorer? Probably never. They work. Same with Libreoffice - it's boring, its free, and it's a little slow, but it's the best office application we have today.
Fuck you to the Bad Webcomics Wiki for encouraging an environment of destructive criticism and not productive, yelling at bad artists and expecting them to become good through hate and not encouragement. I wouldn't mind it so much, so long as the artist was a complete twat and making fun of them is enjoyable for the sane artists out there, like this incredible "The Oatmeal" review. But when you apply the same lack of humility to every single webcomic that you review, your opinions lose credibility because your users are so focused on accentuating the negative that they don't consider whether or not the criticisms are deserved. Most people are shit, and what they make is shit. I get that. To complain about them without providing any clear guidelines on how to improve does nothing to make the medium a better place, and at best, makes you look petty for bringing up the flaws that are already apparant. Anybody can criticise, and indeed, most people do. And if your users really care about webcomics like your users say they do (and I believe it - I'm on the forums), they'd focus a little more on expressing what makes webcomics great, as opposed to beating down a comic without remorse. And just so you realise I'm not full of shit, since your users like to consider most reactions that aren't sucking your dick as "angry" (most of them are annoyed at best - especially the one for "Lethal: Death Squad Rising", where the reviewer called the artist a "bitching, moaning crybaby" even though the reviewer sounds like a raving cunt): the "VG Cats" review where they call the author a douche without providing any non-comic sources (inferences aren't causation - I can't say Hussie was a pedophile because of his underaged characters), the "Devilbear" review, which complains at length without letting the audience see for itself why the content is bad, and the "Zen Pencils" review, which has some good points regarding the artist's disrespect of his source material, but focused too much on one particular arc with a criticism of his definition of trolling, and taught the moral that even if you're working at McDonalds, you should stay there because your life could be worse, which has so many wrong things going for it that I could devote an entire article to that thought. For instance, the only way you can accept having a well-paying job that you hate is if you accept that money is more important than your own well-being. It's not all bad, though. I'd like to thank the Strong Female Protagonist review for deconstructing superhero tropes and talking about how to make a political comic without being hypocritical. So sort out the shit and praise the good stuff - the Bad Webcomics Wiki has been focusing on the former, so far.
§ July 9, 2016
Big ups to Penn Jillette for developing the Groundhog Day idea into something which affects the work of everybody in every career. You see, the simple notion of the movie Groundhog Day is this - you live the exact same day, every day, and over thousands of days, you become an expert at manipulating them. Jillette realised that show business works the same way. If you do an act once, you suck at it. If you do it ten times, you still suck. If you do it a hundred, then you're decent. But it's only once you're willing to do an act a thousand times, day after day, on-stage and off, that you begin to appreciate just how much impact you can make with it. Some of Penn and Teller's tricks have been done for decades, and they have practiced them literally thousands of times during their career, and have evolved them to the point where they know the exact optimal ways to perform them. Then can read their audience without effort, deliver their lines with a respect they didn't know was possible, and perform their magic in a way so simple that it takes years to properly cut down. All work is like that. If you give up, you get nowhere. If you keep trying, even on something that seems worthless, you eventually find the value in it. And if you take something that isn't worthless, take years worth of experience to it, and keep practicing and practicing at it, then you create something great. The greats weren't great because at birth they could paint. They simply found the value that was already there, and kept working until they could extract that value.
Fuck you to HBO for aggressively policing the Web for torrents of their show. I shouldn't have to spell it out to you, but then again, the average copyright vulture has about as much intelligence as an actual vulture. Intimidating your fans does not make them want to support you. Stopping people from watching your show does not make you more money. Releasing a show into the world and then taking your ball and going home is greedy, and though I'm used to people putting money before humanity, it's also petty. Sending out letters to pirates in the vain hope that they'll stop pirating? Abusing copyright notices to stop fan speculators from predicting your plots? Taking down fucking porn of your series, even though you made the porn in the first place? You would think that the owners of the most pirated television show of 2015 would use that power to sell merchandise which would earn then more profit that a TV channel ever could, but I guess you don't have the capacity to do that. If this is your death throe before you come to terms that the Internet is making television obsolete, then you're dragging out that death by its fucking legs, until you eventually smash its head on the wall into a chunky pulp.
§ July 8, 2016
Big ups to Bandcamp, or more specifically the artists on Bandcamp, who release their music on there for free, providing the easiest and highest-quality way to explore new genres of music without cost - and without ideological cost, thanks to the opportunity to download free formats such as FLAC and Vorbis. It all gets compressed for my collection (a little sexual ritual of mine), though the opportunity to download all different formats is a great benefit to people who want to explore the benefits of other codecs without. While the tags are a bit fussy (if you label your vaporwave album as "french house", you're an ignorant musician), and the search function could use a lot more variables to search for (there's no "search by price" option, which is the only reason I'm on there), it's still a good service, one I'm glad exists, and one which helped me find some music to experience and artists to like while playing Euro Truck Sim 2. What's up with that game, anyway?
Fuck you to every video game emulator out there which is against piracy - Dolphin, PCSX2, and Citra, though I assume everybody else is pissing themselves over the filesharing scene. You make a piece of software that can emulate any video game within a reasonable degree of accuracy, in most cases making the experience better by adding improved graphics, savestate support, and the ability to hack the shit out of a game, and you want to prevent people from using your hard work? There are many, many reasons as to why this is hypocritical and classist, and I can only discuss them fully in a future article, but the basic reasons follow. Creating a device which plays games for free without the copyright holder's authorisation is a piracy machine, and to tell pirates to fuck off instead of encouraging them to have fun is hypocritical. To assume that everybody has the financial means to buy luxury items such as games is classist, and to discourage them from being on an equal playing field as their richer peers is even more classist, and the crux of piracy is that it allows everyone, regardless of social status, to be equal. To claim that developers lose money from piracy is based on a fallacy that has been debunked by both economists and judges, and to continue spreading this lie is to support corporations instead of your users. I will continue to use your emulators in the way that you don't want me to, and so will the hundreds of thousands of users which keep your projects afloat. You may either fight an unwinnable battle against the Internet (remember - Internet always wins), or you can adapt to a changing market and appeal to pirates who just want to make sure nobody is left out. It's your choice, but right now, you're making the wrong one. Special shout-outs to the Citra developer who said that my previous post was bullshit without explaining why. I understand why you would be angry though. I was a lot more bitchy back then.
§ July 7, 2016
Big ups to Neocities, the website you're on right now. Despite all my complaints about the HTML editor and a website who, in 2016, in TWENTY SIXTEEN, WHICH IS THE CURRENT YEAR, still doesn't support HTTPS, is still the website I'm still hosting this site on. It's free. There's no advertisements. You get the freedom to make your site however the hell you want, on an open-source platform, run entirely by donation with generous benefits for those who decide to donate, even though recieving benefits for a donation means it's a transaction, and not a gift of charity. I haven't expressed my gratitude for the service that keeps me afloat, and to ignore all of the generosity it gives me in exchange for focusing on the negatives is not anything that I want to do, and doesn't represent my potential as a person who wants to help people find good things in the world. So I'm sorry, Neocities, and I want to thank you for providing me with the opportunity to change people. Thank you. And thank you for making a cute kitty - I'd ask if I could yiff Penelope, but I don't think the darling deserves that.
Fuck you to certain websites, such as every website which uses Cloudflare, for their continued use of Google Forced and Unpaid Labour CAPTCHAS. The arguments against these barriers are simple, but they have not been defeated, and so they are worth iterating. CAPTCHAS prevent access to the Internet by discriminating against certain groups of people, including those from certain countries, those using Tor (who may be from "certain countries" who censor the Web, needing to use Tor to get on it), those with vision disabilities, those who match a certain network profile (what constitute "suspicious activity"? we will never know, because the algorithms are proprietary), and those on shared networks who have to bear the brunt of a single user messing with a server, restricting access to everybody else without cause. This is trial by machine, a punishment enacted by a party with all the power against innocent users, and yet who have to waste minutes of their time every time they want to access a certain website by making them fill in one of Googles automated tracking schemes. I have no respect for server operators who think this is a fair way to treat their customers.
§ July 6, 2016
Big ups to Corruption of Champions, which is the most expansive medium of the human sexual consciousness that I have ever played. There's no beating around the bush - it's a porn text adventure, and within it will be every fetish you'll have thought of, featuring every species you can think of, through every encounter you can think of, so long as it's a part of the author's long, long list of fetishes. It's the encapsulation of every desire that humans have created, and as was said by Zachary Weiner (real name), there is no pain that a human can endure that won't eventually be fetishised, which is why there are frankly absurd amounts of rape in this game. Despite that, its biggest sin is that it requires Flash to run, so I guess Mr. Fenoxo was young and dumb at the time. If you can get past that hurdle, then you'll find a game that's actually much more expansive than the tits and dicks it used to attract you with, with a world that you can explore for a great deal of time without exhausting it, characters that you can meet and learn about, and a combat system that features less grinding than you'd find in Paper Mario, for instance (animations are the scourge of all RPGS). If you play it and find yourself a little less prudish, a little more receptive to how the world is, what makes its beligerents fuck, and not the world born out of censorship and moral panics that prevents us from expressing ourselves in our most primal ways, then I am happy to expose you to this gift.
Fuck you to TV Tropes, who, in 2010, censored all articles pertaining to sexuality, pornography, and other mature themes to continue recieving money from Google - who in turn, pressured the site to censor culturally relevant pages in order to appease their advertisers. The only way that the administrators could have justified this conflict of interest is that they had to make the decision to either support their wallets or the arts, and the arts lost. To make a website that's supposed to be built by fans, browsed by fans, and supported by the fans of the media you catalogue, and then take the power away from those fans and put it instead with a select few people who benefit from all the work that they do is a plutocracy. And the plutocracy has made it clear: you can have your fun, and you can make good work if you want, but at the end of the day, if it isn't paying the bills, we can do whatever we want to your work, and you can't complain about it. This demonstrates nicely that whenever you stand to profit off of a work, you will make compromises in order to maximise your profit, at the cost of the very humanity you base your business off.
§ July 5, 2016
Big ups to Emuparadise.mobi (formerly .me, but I guess they didn't want to sound selfish) for being a direct-download ROM site that's actually reliable, and not some shady Chinese site (tip: replace China with your country of choice) where you have to register or fill out a survey or whatever just to download a 32MB file. The reliability and variety of media that this site has is impressive, being better organised than most piracy sites while still having a sincere community full of nerds, despite all of them being blissfully unaware of copyright law, and though it's cute, it would be better if they knew how to cover their tracks so they don't get fucked by the merciless hand of the local thugs. Emuparadise is a bastion of hope in a ROM-sharing scene that's noted for its sketchiness, and if one of you lads know how to set up an onion site, then create an archive before it all goes to Hell.
Fuck you to Microsoft for making the Xbox harder to reverse engineer than the entire human genome. Do you know how many games the most popular Xbox emulator can run, after fifteen years of research? One. Halo: Combat Evolved, North American version. And it runs like shit. I guess this is the typical Microsoft workflow: a bundle of hacks that runs on spaghetti and magic smoke, eventually being "developed" into a "product" that is the "Xbox" (air quotes are cruise control for cool). The original Xbox was such a mess that not even Microsoft could figure out how to emulate it, only providing Xbox 360 support for half of the entire library. I guess half the development team killed themselves during development, as is also standard Microsoft practice.
§ July 4, 2016
Big ups to everybody who has even taken the time to simply listen to what I have to say. I don't mean here, though I appreciate that to. I mean the people on every little IRC or messaging app or online game or whatever that took the time to be serious and actually listen to me. Even on websites like Tumblr which have had a seriously negative experience on my life, wasting all my time and putting me into an aggressive mindset whenever I was on it, the idea that there were a few people on there willing to make friends with me was the most incredible thing to someone whose interactions were mostly telling people to fuck off on DOTA 2. That's why I made a policy of naming fictional characters after people I admire - they deserve it, in one way or another, as something so simple deserves something simple in return.
Fuck you to the SwiftKey developers for flat-out ignoring a request from a user who wanted to disable the prediction bar on their keyboard. To see a problem that can be solved and then fail to solve it, is laziness. To see a problem that is specifically requested by multiple of your users and not only ignore it, but to provide justifications for your laziness instead of fixing your problem is malicious, and shows that you don't give a damn about your users. They have said that they refused to do so because it would be "just like any other keyboard", which would be true. But given that the people who are current using your keyboard have requested an option to be as such, you shouldn't give a single damn about how they use your product, as they are still using their product even if it isn't the way you wanted them to. If you don't care enough about what you make to improve it, then you don't deserve to be working on it.
§ July 3, 2016
Big ups to 7-Zip for compressing files like nobody's business. After having took all of my blog backups (for historical reasons, yes, but mostly for practical ones) and unzipping them, they ended up being around thirty megabytes. But the 7-Zip came along and compressed it down to 99% of that size, to a mere 300 kilobytes. I don't mean to whore it out, but that's exceptionally impressive for a utility that handles all the files quicker than I would have imagined would be possible. I guess expectations don't have to be high to pay off.
Fuck you to every website who, three years after the NSA snooping leaks, still doesn't support HTTPS in their websites. What this little feature does is provide protection from snooping as your requests go through the Internet by having the web server encrypt it, and though I have absolutely no idea how the underlying structure works (oh no my reputation), I understand that it is generally "a good thing". Though there has been speculation that the encryption was cracked (not like the feds would ever tell you if it was), it's still much wiser to have it on your web site, as to leave your communications unencrypted provides any asshole with a laptop the means to spy on your users. Do you fail to realise that Let's Encrypt provides free certificates for absolutely everyone, and it only takes five minutes for a server owner to switch? I guess you do, seeing as there are still websites, including fucking Neocities blogs (this is why you should always use Tor, to prevent snooping), which have failed to make the switch. I wonder what it will take to cause you all to switch? An army of ants attacking the core of the Web, using their little laptops to steal account information from your users? What would ants even do with the data?
§ July 2, 2016
Fuck you, yet again, to the continually broken Neocities web editor. In addition to hotkeys only sometimes working, the fonts looking different from one web browser to the next, the annoying file editor which demands that you delete and then recreate a folder to move it (instead of simply copying it?), and the speed of the whole program being worse than LibreOffice on a bad day, it decides to go tits up and simply stop working sometimes. Seeing as this is the only way to edit pages as they are made live on the site, wouldn't you think that the developers would spend more time on this critical part of their websites functionality? I guess not.
§ July 1, 2016
Big ups to the kind artists on e621 who decide to post their work to that website, providing me opportunity to give them my compliments without having to create a token burner account for every social media website within. It's a shame that most art websites are shady as all get out, and e621 isn't no prince either (they refuse to put up a Tor relay, for instance, strange for a website which hosts what would be child porn in some countries), though it is one of the better sites out there. To know that there are actual artists and not just perverts who use the site is a great boon towards it, as to get the approval of content creators means that it further cements its legitimacy in the art world. In addition, the ability to see the kinks of those who I like is a great advantage when talking to them, as intimacy is important to every relationship, not just romantic ones. So I must thank you for making it easy for me to thank you. Though there is no website which as of yet replaces the "old guards", I hope that by the time one comes, you'll have found it.
Fuck you to every porn producer which degrades their very stars by fetishising them as a collection of body parts and not as the individuals they are. This includes those in the real-life arts (though I haven't found any real porn which I'd consider art, or even "artistic", as the disciplines tend to have an unhealthy relationship), and those of the print arts as well. While I understand that I sound like an old lady, my problem is not with porn itself, as I understand that we're all a collection of emotions which must express themselves in lewd ways. Nor is it with the porn stars and producers - they all consented to the act and I do not blame them for wanting to be a part of it. My problem is with the laziness of the endeavour to appeal to basic human instincts such as lust and pleasure, and not higher ones such as passion and romance. The feeling you get when you look at something cute is in my mind at least double the better feeling than looking at tits, especially if I found one of the cutest women I have ever seen in my life - or men even, though that mostly occurs in digital art. If you were a pornographer, in whatever way that means to you, I don't suggest you get lazy and simply produce porn. I want you to produce art, and that means taking the higher road and putting your stars in positions which express themselves without being fetishes, as to do that means you create something great, and actually memorable, and not just another picture to click through on an early-morning fap session for bored millenials.
June 2016 BUAFY August 2016
July 2016 (we're here already!)
To the wall, to the wall: Froghand.
Today's page was updated on July 31, 2016!
The pain, the fear, the sorrow, the furry.