Horseman Reviews

Also known as "Bojack Horseman".

Bojack Horseman is a series about a sad horse who keeps being sad throughout the entire series and ends up learning very little about why he is sad, wasting the time of everybody he talks to, and The Gang deciding not to give him any solid dick on how to live his life, but instead patronising him with cryptic messages about how you can't change the past and who you are without establishing a continuity which justifies having those messages st all.

It's a show that tries to be smart, but fails, but is a rare breed of this failure where it isn't pretentious. In fact, it's incredibly down to earth, which is interesting considering what batshit insane events The Gang can find themselves in, such as taking a massive drug trip and stealing the Hollywood sign. The characters act realistically, but what they do is fucking stupid. It's a very funny show because of this, and if you want to watch it, I would watch it like "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia", where you take nothing seriously and the plot points don't matter.

It may seem like a cop-out to only enjoy a dramedy for its comedy, but this show is truly awful at drama (except for an actual decent story in episode 07). Whatever continuity it has between episodes is wasted on one-off jokes and episode plots you could see coming from a mile away because of how blatantly they were foreshadowed. The plot threads that go between each episode are interrupted by jokes that don't matter and conclusions that are never satisfying, topped off by hackneyed morals that are about as natural as a horse cock in a human twat.

If you want a drama series that is still extraordinarily funny, watch Haruhi instead, but in it's original broadcast order for the sake of Chaos. The two shows does what Horseman does better - more developed characters, better pacing, plots that come naturally, morals that you learn from example and not exposition, a really chill atmosphere that doesn't feel a need to be funny all the time, and an ending which is actually satisfying and not just season bait. The lows of Haruhi are much higher than the lows of Horseman, and the highs of Horseman don't come near at all to the highs of Haruhi - the anime is just a hell of a lot better than the cartoon is.

The one thing that Horseman does better though is that it's funniest jokes were much funnier than Haruhi's, and they came much most often, too. The best episodes of Horseman are either the funniest ones (like episode 06), or the ones that know when to be serious and heartwarming while only introducing its comedy as appropriate (like episode 11). If you look at this from the perspective as a pure comedy and expect nothing more, you will be treated right, as seeing assholes get their shit kicked in on a daily basis by other assholes lead to some comfy, comfy schadenfreude.

But if you look at it from a drama, you will be severely disappointed, as it will fuck up its story arcs at every opportunity, leading you with the promise of something mind-blowing and beautiful, but instead having an ending that makes you wonder "what the hell was the point of all that?". It's due to this condition that I can only recommend Bojack Horseman to those who liked shows like "Panty and Stocking", "It's Always Sunny", and "Futurama" - all of which are much better than Horseman, but with Horseman still having the upper hand with being much more "realistic" than those other works, and its great acting, writing, and dialogue choices saving it from being thrown in the trash.

The reviews:

Episode 01 - The Gang throws a party.

Episode 02 - The horse takes some shitty muffins.

Episode 03 - The Gang deals with a pop star.

Episode 04 - Todd fucking dies.

Episode 05 - Diane's dad gets chummed.

Episode 06 - The dog gets a big D.

Episode 07 - Princess Caroline fucking dies.

Episode 08 - Herb fucking dies (of ass cancer).

Episode 09 - The horse tries to cuck the dog.

Episode 10 - The Gang makes a shitty movie (unrelated).

Episode 11 - The Gang gets high as fuck.

Episode 12 - Nothing important happens. The end.

Neighhhhhhh - Froghand.

Today's page was updated on September 18, 2016!

I'll stop with the horse puns when I'm a dead horse.