The Blog Leadup
These were the last posts made on Froghand before its retiration. Please, enjoy.
Oh, fuck, after coding a website properly for three weeks and coming back to this mess, it's like visiting a grandparent that had a stroke and you weakly have to rationalise their continued existence.
So if you haven't been checking out my Neocities page, then I would look dead to you. Think again, fuckboy. This site may be an old and derelict archive of infinite knowledge, but I'm still alive and kicking, moving around to new things. The same froggy attitude, just on a brand new website.
Expect the launch on February 01. If you like me, you're going to fall in love all over again with the new Froge experience. And if you're not like me, you would be better equipped spending your time blowing your cock until it bends.
You'll find a ton of nonsense on my Neocities page now. Not to give the silent majority that is my audience the silent majority that is my middle finger (paw? do frogs have paws?), but the new project has been a week in development, so whatever you end up making out of that will depend on how much you're in love with me personally.
Hello! I've been working on a new project for the past two weeks, so coming back to this one and all its shitty, hacky, non-validating code fills me with some sort of nostalgia. Convenient to just type in "p id=s" for every tag, though that's not doing things the proper fucking way. And I suppose that's the reason why the website is taking so long to build: I have to relearn all my HTML practices for the sake of doing things the right way. It's pretty pathetic how even when the source code of this website says a big "fuck you" to standards and good taste", it's still a hell of a lot more sensible than that of most websites. 2mB for an index page? Not on my fucking life!
I can't say a lot about it, otherwise you degenerate sacks of shit will steal from me, but it's a pretty big project. And no, the joke 0bit site isn't the big project (it was me all along! hahaha). I will say that it combines my fetishes for software, reviews, and the arts in a way that has yet to ever exist - as well as forcing me to stop rambling so damn much and focus on one thing. It's almost ready, and will be shipped out by the end of this month, so expect that. I'm still your fans too, the same as you are mine!
Sweet Georgia Brown has it ever been a week for me. "It's Tuesday -" alright, I'm tired of your ass. I'd get my gun if it wasn't all the way over there, in the gun store, which I'm banned from for trying to rob, with my gun, way over there. At the same time as a world of possibility is opening before my eyes, fueled by French House and bad intentions, there are the omniprescent issues of time, work, and workaholism. I spend a lot of time working on measurable self-improvement, perhaps to the point of workaholism. Long-time readers of my blog will know I've thrashed against overworking yourself many a time.
Indeed, the long-time readers is the reason why I came to update today in the first place. I thought to myself "well, I'm rebooting this ting soon", so no point in even updating while this dead little green thing sits there on the Web like a whore looking for her next twat plug. I then realised that there are people who don't immediately cringe at "twat plug", and that they read my blog. I realise that they enjoy twat plugs, and so look at my blog every day, eagerly awaiting for when the next update will occur, because I matter to them. And when I don't update, they are disappointed, struck with the doubt and uncertainty of somebody who doesn't have a set schedule, doesn't advertise what to expect next, and doesn't have any set theme to even infer what will happen. It's a haze, and it's my duty to reduce that haze by telling you what's up. Like a reboot.
Oh, right, a reboot. Dropped that bomb, didn't I? I guess I have to explain now. You see, I've had several issues with the curation of this blog over its foundation; as I look at the masters who made me, I understand that they specialise into distinctive groups. There's the master of animation, and the master of anime. The master of games and the master of heraldry. And then there's the masters of memes, oh my! At the same time they make work that affect my perception of the world in ways I have never considered before, we have to understand they do not pump their websites with irrelevent shit. It's no spoiler that this is a website full of irrelevent shit.
I have realised over the past months that I am a frog with a blog and a blog with no identity. I am a man, private as I am, who offers you opinions about anything that comes to my mind. They are unsolicited. They are journeys. And these journeys talk about things that nobody ever expects to talk about... and this is what makes me great. The ability to take a topic and to branch out into things that nobody expects is the mark of an excellent artist, and I am proud to be one. But it is also my downfall. The man who fails to specialise is a man who fails to impart their wisdom in the world. The sad truths of history have shown that it is rarely the jack-of-all-trades that are vindicated. It is you who does a thing well and truly extraordinarily well that embed you in the memories of the world. And though it is sad, it has been proven so, that it is better to be famous for one thing than to be anonymous while doing several.
I have learned harshly that a blog without a purpose, and without a depth to that purpose that nobody has seen before, is a blog that is not read widely. I may honestly say that, in my seven month tenure on Neocities, that there is no blog that competes with mine for sheer depth of charater, depth of content, and the ability to be totally and unabashedly who you are in the same way that I am. There is no other combination of good design, good content, and good personality that I can attach myself to. I am the only worthy contender in the potroast that is this webhost. And yet those outside of it have never heard of me. There are reasons for this.
The irrelevent shit means that only a person like me will like me, and those people are rare. It does not lend itself to marketing. How may you sum up my blog? "Saviour of the Universe?" We have a million of those. "Rambling and gushing in ways nobody has seen?" I have looked far and wide, and I have found so many blogs with that very same description, and I have found them fucking, fucking, awful. "Reviews of video games, animation, and also Web Security every day?" Who would read that combination? I don't have a brand. I don't have an identity. The only point that I get up in the morning and even think about this endeavour as opposed to trashing it all is because I know that there are a few people out there who really, really care about what I make. And I do it for them. I'm writing this for them. If you're reading all of this, I'm probably doing it for you. Yes, you, Adrian. That probably isn't your name, but it's worth it to show some affection to the theoretical Adrians.
At least with Web Sec I could come across some consistent theme, but my name was awful for search engines. "Froghand", really fucking evocative name there. Confusing matters even more is the "Froge" moniker. So good job adding in an unecessary barrier to helping people understand just who the fuck you are. And when you throw out the one consistent thing you've done and say anything goes, the only people who support that mentality are fucking nutters like you, Adrian. It brings some genuine expression to the blog, but that's something you have to imbue into something that people can see instead of making it the main course. For all the work that I do, nobody may see it, just because of these simple, silly mistakes I've only realised after maturing through the entire endeavour.
So my plan now, essentially, is to make an empire. A series of projects, all separately run, yet consolidated under one umbrella, and be an Internet rock star. Go big on the bitch and see what I can make of this vast, empty, wasteland that is Neocities. Because I like it. I like it a lot. It is what the Web needs right now, and what I well and fully support until its dying end. But it is a small pond, and the recognition it deserves, is gone, gone, going, gone, don't even give a damn.
So if my degenerate followers want some discourse as to my decision to make new projects instead of focusing entirely on this one, with the future of this blog relying entirely on the potential I can extract from its contents, the most likely outcome being a split and reconversion of all the articles into different websites. I have a strategy that didn't work and now I'm going to fix it. Pull up my big boy pants, take this beautiful, beautiful thing I've created, and then run amok with the pillars and make a beautiful new house for my beautiful fans to live in. Because I love you, and I am sorry for not saying so earlier.
I must apologise for not curating this post properly with headers and bullet points and twee. Only those who read my walls of text give a shit enough to care.
So I guess you shitscrams deserve an explanation for my unsolicited absences the past few days. I can't make any big excuse about me getting anal cysts or what have you, or even an ironically funny thing like my family going into poverty and having to shitpost at the local library with that fatass furry I talked to you in the comments section about, because I don't have any such excuse. The long and short of it is that over the past seven months, I've come to the conclusion that I'm really fucking good at writing. You can see the evidence - here's my fucking good articles on my fucking good blog. I got fucking good English, and a fucking lot of love to give. In the T-shaped man diagram, I've developed a very long shaft. But a man needs more than one shaft to be effective, which is why I'm still single.
As I've gone through the Web and saw the cultures cast before me, I have noticed that all that I pride - the music, the games, and the arts - are a shining glimmer to the pale glow of my other pride of writing. I have seen the brunt of what writing may do for a person. I have listened for well over a year, intently, to the masters who made me. I have read, and read I have very well, and I have learned to write very well because of this. I am by no means a master, and by no means am I as accredited as, in my humble opinion, I should be. On Neocities, I am a big fish. But Neocities is a small pond. And though I am gracious for all the wonders within it, all the culture it humbly presents to me and my humble opinions, it is a land of dim opportunity for a man not focused on novelty and nostalgia.
I am diversifying my skillset. I have a passion for music, and so I am learning how to make it. I have a passion for arts, and so I am learning how to manipulate it. I have a passion for games, but you will see I have written a great deal about it, and so may learn little else. And indeed, all of these are cultures - and my fetish for culture runs deep. I am learning languages to fulfill these fetishes. And outside of what I have the privilege to do, I am also burdened with what I must do. Work, not for passion, but for profit. And so I may live to let you live a little kinder.
Longform journalism is good for those with a lot of time, and though I have a lot of time, I am using them for other things but writing. I pray that you understand as I develop new projects for you, albeit intermittently.
The end of Froghand.
Today's page was updated on 2017-02-02 and created on 2017-02-02.
See you soon!